Dear Jess,
Your feedback and your feelings about your ankle bracelet are very interesting, I thank you very much.
I would like to know, have you ever tried to break your rules to see what happens, and what are the penalties for violations.
kisses.
Ingrid.

Dear Jess,

You are quite right about learning to deal with the realization that the bracelet is always there. When I sit on the edge of the bed first thing in the morning and look down, they are there. When I go to bed at night, I feel them move as I adjust the sheets and blanket. Sometimes it is hard to have the constant reminders of their presence. I would like to be able to tell you that eventually you won't notice them but so far, that hasn't happened for me.
I am mostly a long pants kind of guy but I miss being able to wear shorts in the summer. The pants usually cover the bracelets and I pull my socks up over them but I always feel like everyone s looking at me an will see them no matter what I do. I am sorry that you are having to give up leggings. I understand they are more comfortable.
You are right to not push at the boundaries. I have a little more freedom than you do but still have a lot of restriction. I asked for an exception yesterday to do some errands but never got an answer so I was stuck in all day.
Thank you for what you are sharing. It is good to hear about other peoples experiences with the GPS leash.

Respectully,
705

Dear Ingrid,
You are right. For me, it is anything but simple. The restraint is always there, watching, recording whether my supervisor is watching at the moment or not. I have to plan my day and my week around the rules for where I can go and when. All of my travel is recorded and my supervisor reviews the record and sometimes asks about what I was doing and why, even if it is an allowed place. I found out yesterday that they look for places that I go often or stay longer and make reporting zones in that place they are notified anytime I go there. This sometimes leads to restrictions on that place like time limits or needing permission to be there.
The need for charging is an important requirement every day. I am not allowed to let the charge in the bracelet battery fall below a certain level or it will send an alert. This means they have to be charged every day which means I have to stay in one spot for an hour or so because the wire on the charger is only about 8 feet long (2.5 meters). This makes the day harder because I have to plan for this time and restriction every day.
Thank you for noticing what Jess and I have to deal with.
Respectfully,
705

Dear Azureko,

Thank you for your questions.
I do not work from home all of the time although, I think, I would like that. I usually work in an office building on one of three office campuses or office parks. Travel to those during the day (7 am to 8 pm Mon-Thur, 7 am to 7 pm Fri) or other travel in the local area does not require permission although there are some restricted places.
Travel outside the area or outside those times requires permission, for work or otherwise. For work, permission is usually not an issue but an explanation of what I will be doing is required. Non work related exceptions are not necessarily granted and require a more extensive description of what I will be doing and why it would justify an exception to the curfew. There are some built-in rules about the timing of exception requests.

Respectfully,
705

Dear Jess,

Thank you for your interest. I don't think it is unusual that your jailor is not providing more details or comments about your tracking. I find that my supervisor does not tell me any details about how much or how often they are actually looking. I get enough questions to make me think they are watching all the time in real-time but I don't think that is possible. I do think they have people helping them to give that illusion. Whatever they are really doing, they give the impression that they know everything, all the time, and the system cannot be evaded. We recently discuss that I can no longer remember not be monitor and tracker and have come to accept this a normal for me.
I hope that if this is what you want, your jailer will help you get to the same mindset.
You may wish to discuss with your jailer ways that you would feel like an inmate if you are ever allowed out in public without obviously looking like one. You might have an inmate uniform to wear under the clothing you are provided when you go out or have to wear a wrist bracelet that cannot be easily removed that clearly identifies youras an inmate but in a way that is not obvious.
I hope you get to enjoy some of the things you want to do before that opportunity goes away for a year.

Respectfully,
705

Where can I buy all the metal restraints which Miisa talks about in her blogs and apparently uses.

It’s been a long and slow few weeks here, the last few days have been pretty warm, so enjoying just being at home and trying to keep cool under the fan. Wondering what life will be like in the dead of winter and the middle of summer in my new accommodation soon? So many unknowns that I’ve got to look forward to.

I haven’t got long left, the situation has happened so that I’ll be able to start on the 1st of March. It’s been decided that he is going to come down to my place on the 29th, to pack up my remaining things and to move them back to storage at his property. Then on the 1st, ill start my intake and be shown my new accommodation.

So far, life has been very mundane and I’ve not been caught out or in any trouble for my movements on the GPS.

I can imagine the tension before the big change in your lifestyle. I bet there are more envious people around than me, I wish you good luck and I hope that it will be possible for you to keep us up to date about your life. It might be good for you to put things in writing - it works for me when I am nervous, unsure or just excited. Godspeed to you.

Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes definitely nervous before the big change! But it will be possible for me to keep you all updated, although I know it’ll be restricted and monitored, I’ll definitely keep this updated with how the next year goes for me. Love having some friends on here to keep in touch with and know that I’m not truely alone in my new situation.

I see, anything else you would like to do before 29th? Perhaps some.. practices for your mind like I don't know, say meditation to help you pass time during your term?

How did you progress from first pair of handcuffs from ebay to your previous term under your guard? Was there anyone else that you had submitted yourself to previously, or steps that you progressively took to fully submitting yourself to your guard?

Hopefully you still get your phone time this term like before, maybe it'd be great for you to start a journal during your term, to share your life journey like Miisa's life story.

Dear Jess,

It's great that you want to stay in our forum community and share your experiences. It will be really interesting to read how you are doing during your new, longer imprisonment. I wish you all the best for the coming year!

I understand that you made that first attempt because of your curiosity about an inmate's life, but - if I may ask - what are your motives now? As far as I understand your posts, you don't exactly find your voluntary captivity arousing and erotically gratifying, nor you need it for the feelings of safety and being cared about, nor you need to be controlled and restricted from some harmful habits. So would you be able (and willing) to say why you want to be there, or are your thoughts too complex to work out like that?

I also noticed the lessened activity. I am certainly looking forward to reading more from all of you! I hope that everyone is safe, able to fulfil all their unusual dreams, and happy in their respective circumstances (I think the special mention should go to Sophie here).

Once again, all the best - DoomTurtle

Dear DoomTurtle,

It is good to see you posting again. You and Jess are right. It has been very quiet here. I probably should have posted more updates but it feels funny to just write things and not have the interaction. I think one of the things that appeals to me about this forum is getting to hear from and interact with a variety of different people. I try to check-in every day and will try to post more often.
I guess I do have a few things to report. We are testing a new ankle bracelet so for the time being, I am wearing three. I was allowed to travel to a work conference last week and had to so through TSA security checking at the airport. This is always a little embarrassing and scary for me. It always feels like everyone in the line is looking at me, even though I know they are not. I always worry that I might somehow be judged as some sort of higher risk and detained for more investigation that would make me miss the flight. As usual, though, the bracelets were detected by the metal detector and I was sent to the scanner which found something on each ankle. As always, they swap the devices to check for chemical residue, I think. This time, the agent also did my hands and my arms. They remarked that they had seen one bracelet before but never three. Other than that delay, I was cleared to go. The new bracelet has a wired charger like one of the two original ones so now ever evening, I sit with a wire from each ankle to a wall plug. It is a much more tethered feeling than just one ankle.
I was told that the computer that requests verification photos and sends reminder and training messages and been upgraded with new software. I am not sure I see a difference. The messages maybe come more often. There are definitely new messages that are more condescending or patronizing in tone.
Today I was at a local technical event and was using my phone to do research on some of the projects we were looking at and it was again evident just how restricted my devices are as far and what I am able to access on the internet. What was more interesting and evident to me was just how accepting and less resentful of the restrictions I have become. A lot of the messages are about how good supervision is for me and about the dangers on the internet that I am being protected from. I recognized some of the messages as quotes from some of the parental control product websites. I used to resent the controls a lot but from a lot of the news reports, there actually is a lot of bad stuff out there and I am not allowed access to it. Of course, I am not allowed access to other stuff as well but I am learning to live with that.
I hope you are doing well and will visit more often.

Like you, I hope we will hear more from Sophie. I am glad that Anje and Ingrid sound like they are doing okay even if their life no longer follows what is discussed. Maybe MsHanna will be back soon also.
Respectfully,
705

Thanks for phrasing the exact question that I had in a way that I couldn't figure out how to as I was also curious about Jess' motivations and drive, you are eloquent with your words!

Definitely interesting and makes sense to hear your thoughts, not rambling at all.
Sounds like what you want / need is driven phychologically, where as the physical things around (like GPS bracelet, restraints, locked cell) are just adding on to it?

Would you still feel 'safe' and 'free' if there is no physical control over you for example someone having total control over you by telling you what to and not to do?

All the best Jess, looking forward to hearing from you next time.

Last edited by hloelo (2024-02-29 14:29:30)

Thank you! Definitely going to be hard, but also very much looking forward to it too.

After breakfast this morning, at 8am I was taken across to the second house where my cell is located. After having a shower, I was given back my same pink scrubs that I’d worn last time as well as another brand new set, and taken to my cell to settle in. Once inside again, I had a metal collar padlocked around my neck with a small chain back to a bolted ring on the far wall away from the door. After spending the afternoon in here, I already miss the bed I was in last night! Back on a thin foam singe bed mattress on a basic steel frame, but know it’s going to get worse before I start feeling this is my new normal! Tomorrow ive been told that I’ll be being put to work to help earn my keep here, but I’m not sure what that will mean exactly yet.