Dear Doom Turtle
I didn't quite understand, I thought you were talking about my safety. I don't think I would assault anyone with an iron or any other object. It's expensive.
Thank you very much for this idea that my babysitter will read.
Kisses.
sophie

Dear Sophie,
I am sorry, I see that my message may have been clumsy and difficult to understand. As I said, I trust that you wouldn't assault anyone. Simply, I think that it is good practice to use more safety measures when you handle such objects. It should give more peace of mind, both to you and your "babysitters", knowing that you cannot try anything. With your hands shackled low at your waist, connected to the belt or anklecuffs, you will be able to use the iron as intended, but unable to take a swing with it or move haphazardly.
Sincerely, I'm happy that you appreciate my idea, thank you too!

Dear 705,
Thank you for your kind answer. I am a bit busy, I will write later, perhaps when I can think of some useful suggestions.

Yours,
DoomTurtle

Dear Sophie,

You are exactly right. Thank you for pointing those out. Lying by omission is as bad as outright lying and both are not traits that I should be having. I did not really think of it that way so it is good that you pointed it out. The conditions of my custody do not address lying but because you have pointed this out, perhaps they should. The next time I have a review or counseling session with my supervisor, I will ask to discuss this.

It was wrong of me to try to hide that I am here. If this website and my writing are noticed, I will accept the consequences of what I write and what other suggest. I will not try to hide that I am here.  You are right. That was an attempt to escape the control that might happen if the supervisors knew about this site (if they don't already). This type of escape is a serious as removing one of the GPS tracking bracelets.

One of the reasons to write here was to share the details of custody program I am under for self improvement. Transparency about the program increases the number of people who can, in some way, hold me accountable to my behavior. I am grateful that you were kind enough to point out my poor behavior. This chastisement, especially when it comes from someone who is also living under their own discipline program, is very helpful. I think I am made better because you are strict, and as you say, cruel. I take it more as a kindness for you to help me.

I agree with Doom Turtle that your restraints should be increased when you are working with things that could be dangerous to your babysitters. I don't not think you would act out because you are learning to control the anger you sometimes have. But it good to eliminate any possible temptation. Having your wrist chain attached to a waist belt might make the ironing a little more difficult but it would prevent you from having to worry about acting out. Another measure you might ask them to take would be to attach the iron to a short cable or chain to your wrist so you would not be able to throw it. Again, I don't think you would do anything wrong but asking your babysitters to help be better behaved would show them that you are working hard to reform and improve.

We know that your are a good person and want to help be able to show that so you can have some restrictions removed and have a better life.

I am grateful for the loves well but also for the chastises as well.

Respectful hugs,
705

This might be a solution. During the supervision that had more cameras, they were hardwired to an onsite camera server and video recorder. Wired cameras are less common now and wiring my current living space would be more difficult. If there were wireless cameras with reasonably verifiable security feeding an onsite server that could be accessed through a VPN, that might be a solution. Careful camera placement could provide the supervisory oversight without be able to read material on video screens or watch keyboard typing. So far, the supervisor has not found the need for more video monitoring but that may come about in the future.  It is a small space so there is not a lot of trouble I can get into. More video surveillance would be more of a psychological effect.

Thank you for your input. It is always helpful to have additional viewpoints and additional ideas.

Respectfully,
705

Hello everyone,
i am new here,
I read this very interesting topic.
The lives of 705 and sophie as well as that of the prisoner seem really very hard to me. How can one willingly live this life, its almost a slave life.
I am extremely confused and excited at the same time.
Ingrid

Dear Ingrid,

Welcome to the forum. I am glad you are here and find us interesting.  I think that the way the prisoner and Sophie and I live is harder than most people but we benefit from that. Miisa is living a life desire, Sophie is atoning for a past issue, and I am under custody or supervision to help me be a better person and live a better (if different) life.  It is almost a slave life but we all consented, at least once, to do this no matter what happens. The absoluteness of our situations (at least, mine) means that we have to keep going and keeping getting better. There is no chance to say "this is too hard, I want to stop". We can say that but it will not change things.

It can be very confusing. This is a good community. We will be glad to help.

Respectfully,
705

Dear Ingrid,

It is good that you want to learn and I think you have come to a good place
I am controlled and under custody because it is good for me to have standards and restictions set for me. They help enforce good behavior and prevent time wasting and distractions. I am punished when I don't comly with teh program because, even though I know it is good for me, it is sometimes hard and sometimes, I forget. I could live as a monk but that would make it hard for me to be a productive member of society and to enjoy life in the outside world.

Respectfully,
705

Dear 705,

I needed some time to consider the behavioural issues pointed out by Sophie and your reaction. I think that, if you aren't specifically ordered to report about your clothing, avoiding to mention skating shoes wouldn't be a lie by omission. After all, your supervisors have access to the list of your expenses: they can always ask why did you buy such shoes. Similarly, if your rules don't say that you have to report about your forum activity, you don't have to do it, but you shouldn't try to hide it by visiting other websites more often. On the contrary, make sure that you visit it in your free time, spending your days productively overall. As long as you fulfil your duties, it isn't a fault that you wish to connect with like-minded people, offer your advice and hear from them.

I believe it is a question of logic and personal integrity. You aren't a child, you are probably much older than I am. If you trust that your supervisors can direct your life better than you could, you have no reason to hide anything from them (or bother them with unnecessary questions). If you don't trust so, you shouldn't be in this program at all. And naturally, it is a good idea to discuss if there should be a punishment for lying in your custody conditions. Maybe they don't want to add a rule that will be subjective and difficult to enforce, but if you think it might improve your behaviour, of course go forth and ask for it.

Analysing how to make your program "more comprehensive"... Azureko's idea seems nice, although I'm not sure if it solves the problem that the supervisor needs to switch network configuration. I thought also about the microphone idea and I believe there is a partial solution. Namely, when you have a dinner with someone or attend a social meeting, you could be ordered to wear a microphone. Then you would use the recording yourself to prepare a transcript for your supervisors. You would also provide it with notes, showing where you think you said something inappropriate and need to do better in future. This idea would mean a lot of work for you, and unfortunate implications for your friends' privacy, but I think that your controllers could make such a decision if they deem it necessary.

Another idea: increased weekend security. If you have to stay at home from 6 pm Saturday to 6 am Monday, there could be additional measures in place. Shortening your response time, maybe even to 5 minutes. Making you wear some restraints. Obviously, only your supervisors can decide if such idea will actually be useful. Maybe it could make your life more organised and help you appreciate all your freedom?

I hope that you will like my humble pieces of suggestion. In any case, absolutely no pressure from me, I'm happy just to share my thoughts.

Dear Sophie,

Please don't be sorry. You offer a valuable, unique viewpoint and I believe we all see that you don't mean to embarass anyone.

I am impressed that you find my idea fair despite not liking it, it requires a lot of objectivity. And I think that 705 explained my reasoning about that even better than I did.

Would you like to tell us something more of your rules about eating? Can you use sugar, salt, spices, drink fruit juices? Do you eat with your educators, alone, on the floor? How many meals a day do you have? Are you sometimes denied food as punishment?

Dear Ingrid,

I understand your confusion very well. Some stories here are pretty extreme by general standards, even for this community. It is always good to put effort into checking if everything is done with good will of both sides and nobody is oppressed.

When everything works well, you could think of such arrangements as an ultimate form of freedom, being able to gift it willingly to another person: even transcending freedom. It is beautiful when you can trust someone more than yourself to make choices about your lifestyle, and your partner doesn't disappoint this trust. And your comparison to becoming a monk or nun is commonly used and can be quite good, just that you offer your freedom to someone really close to you, not to an abstract deity represented by your random superiors.

Naturally, I don't encourage you and Anja to jump into such relationship right now. Moving from occasional power exchange play to 24/7 is already a big jump (as a dominant, I tended to skip it quickly, with... varied results). Moving from immediate action safeword to longer programs of release ("non-consensual consent") is much bigger, often requiring years of experience to do it quite safely, contested by much of the community and outright illegal in many countries.

We all hope to hear much more from you. Have an open mind and stay safe!

Greetings to all of you,
the Turtle of Doom

Dear 705,
my apology message yesterday was in order.
My guardian explained to me that if I was punished, it was not for the content of my remarks but that it was that given my status as a punished, I did not have to keep them.
My guardian said to me prophetically:
wait until they come back and you'll see.
I feel big clouds gathering above my head

  I think you have made a lot of progress and I congratulate you.
Unlike Doom Turtle, I think you have to confess what you think are wrongdoing. For me it would be a proof of goodwill and adherence to your supervision program.
As for Doom Turtle's 5 minute response time, I think it's totally doable, it's a matter of will and organization.
You have to anticipate, prepare and train.
For every "action" you do, you have to ask yourself the question, how do I do if the alarm goes off now, is find solutions to be ready, and practice it.
As for skating shoes, I think you should avoid them because they are incompatible with your ankle bracelet.
I had a very naughty idea for you to have a good time on Sunday, but I'm going to refrain, although I'm dying to.
Yesterday's punishment is enough for me for a few days.
I have a question about your coaching messages, what is it?.?

Dear Doom Turtle,
As far as my food is concerned, what I said still applies I eat healthy like my babysitters, I don't make any special meals for myself, I just eat leftovers when there are any. We must not waste
the food.
And I'm not allowed desserts
I eat on a small table apart, facing her, sitting on an uncomfortable chair covered with 3 strips of lego and I have to get up constantly.
The only imperative is to keep my weight stable for the adjustment of my belt..
Dear Ingrid,
as Doom Turtle says, keep your feet on the ground and above all always remember that there is a huge difference between fantasies and real life, otherwise you risk falling from above.
Kisses to all.
sophie

Dear Sophie,

I accept your apology even though I do not think it necessary.
If I understand, your guardian said you might be punished, not because of what you said, but because of your status of being punished. I hope they do not punish you for saying things that help me. You are providing a very helpful viewpoint that comes from your status.

I think I have decided to do what you suggest and talk about this when we have our next review meeting. I will tell them that I am here and confess what I did wrong here and ask to be allowed to stay. Like you, I think that is the best thing to do.

I am glad you agree with the Turtle of Doom even though the 5 minute time might be doom for me. You make a very good point. If the time is set to 5 minute (I hope only when I am home) then I have to always be thinking about how to meet the limit. The reason for the verification photos in the first place is to remind me of the tracking bracelets often. You suggest would remind me of them all of time. That is probably a good thing even if it more oppressive.

You are right about the skating shoes not being able to fit over the bracelets. I did not think of that and it would have been a foolish purchase to get them and not be able to use them.

I am very, very sorry that you were punished for helping me. I don't think that is right. They want you to be a good person and then punish you for doing that.

The coaching messages are short text messages that are sent randomly it seems like two time each hour. There are a lot of different messages but sometimes they repeat. Some of them are just copies of messages from the parental apps like "Boomerang is active and working", "Google books are restricted", "Your SafeSearch setting is set by your parent".. "This video is unavailable".  Others are just general statements like the supervisor might say: "People like you need supervision", "Your curfew can always be tightened", "You must follow the rules", "Accept that you need to be supervised", "It is always right to ask for help with making choices", "You consented to supervision", "We will teach you to make good decisions".
While I was writing this, I got: "You cannot escape or evade supervision", Your access to YouTube is a fragile privilege", "Supervision protects you from yourself", and "You must follow your restrictions".
Being sent these messages relentlessly makes the supervision more intense.

Dear Ingrid,

I think that to take the plunge all at once would be hard and would be a mistake. If you and Anje want to do these things, it is best to start slowly. Maybe try it for a weekend and then some time off to think and discuss. The maybe for a few days more.  You can start with just small restrictions until you find what works best for you. Different people benefit from different rules and restrictions and from different ways of enforcement. It is important to talk a lot and find what works best for both of you.
I hope we can help you on your journey.

Respectful hugs to all,
705

Last edited by 705 (2023-08-16 15:46:32)

Dear Sophie,

I am a bit surprised and disappointed to read that you were punished for your behaviour. Your discipline is really strict. I think your guardian wishes to reinforce the point that a good girl shouldn't criticise people when it isn't her business or without direct request. In fact, 705 made that kind of request, so your fault was minimal if any at all. Well, you could have asked more specifically: "I think you might have some things to improve, but I can be mistaken. Do you wish to hear some points of subjective criticism?". Then, in my opinion, it would be all right. After all, we are here to help and learn from each other, and we value your opinion very much. Personally, I hope that you will offer me such criticism if I write anything incorrect or dangerous on the forum, and that your educators can agree with my point of view.

What kind of punishment did you receive yesterday? If you are allowed to tell it, of course.

Your description is slightly confusing. How is your chair "covered with 3 strips of lego" and why do you have to get up constantly?

Dear 705,

Now I see the point: it isn't enough for you to be obedient and follow the rules. You are expected to cooperate actively with your custody program and learn how to make good choices. And you are encouraged to ask questions when in doubt about something. Is that right? If so, your decision to consult your activity here with the supervisors is naturally consistent with your will to improve yourself. I trust they should allow you to stay here, especially if you assure them that you will be open about your activity here and will not neglect your duties.

I also haven't thought about the problem with skating shoes and bracelets - sorry for that, and thanks to Sophie!

I certainly wouldn't recommend setting the response time to five minutes overall, it would be very impractical for any work or outdoor activities. However, I think five minutes - maybe seven - should work part-time if your supervisors decide to introduce "special weekend rules" as I described. Then, indeed, you would have to plan your day around it and be conscious of tracking all the time.

Dear Ingrid,

I agree completely with Sophie and 705. Half-measures don't have to be satisfactory, go just slowly enough to make sure that every next step comes naturally. Choose a safeword which stops your play immediately in case something goes wrong or you feel too scared. Specify your hard limits if you have any. After a session, take aftercare time with your partner to explain all the feelings to each other. A few times, try submission for an evening or for a weekend, then one or two weeks of vacation as a final attempt. And if everything goes well, you will be ready to get into 24/7, but still with a safeword! In a proper submissive relationship, your needs and dreams will be meaningful, your partner will help you to shape and develop your personality, explore new ideas. For me, it will be an honour to follow your journey!

Yours,
DoomTurtle

Dear DoomTurtle,

I think your understanding is pretty good. The custody or supervision is supposed to be for my benefit and to encourage personal growth. Several of the parental controls describe themselves as intending to help teens make "good choices" and that idea has become one of the watch words of the program. I am expected to comply with the conditions of the supervision or risk some sort of consequences, removal of privileges or tightening of restrictions. It is to my benefit to always be mindful about what I am doing and how that fits in the structure that is set for me. So if I am not sure about something, I should ask to be sure I understand what is expected. One of the coaching prompts said "It is always right to ask for help with making choices", another was "You need help to make good choices".  This coaching helps me to do better with the program.

I am definitely going to discuss being here so I can get good guidelines for what is allowed and what is expected.

I think my goal to be as transparent as I can going forward means that I  will have to share your idea about "special weekend rules" even though I think they will read all of this site anyway (if they haven't already) after I talk about it. Five or seven minutes to verify ( I would still try to get ten) would, as you and Sophie say, mean being constantly thinking about the verification and, therefore, about the supervision the entire time. Sometimes, now, it sort of fades into the background until a message comes or I have to ask permission for something.  I guess the constant reminder for the weekend would be a good thing.

Thank you for your suggestions and for your input.

Respectfull,
705

Dear all,
thank you very much for your advice.
I confess to not having been totally sincere.
When I said that I was talking to Anja, in fact I remained evasive, not totally sincere.
So last night, I took the bull by the horns, I asked him to listen to me without interrupting me.
I emptied my bag.
  At the end she replied that she felt that I had a problem.
We talked a good part of the night, clearing up misunderstandings.
At the end I asked her if she wanted to become my mistress.
When she told me no, I collapsed and cried.
I asked her if she didn't love me no more.
She took a long time to console me, she told me not to worry, that I was the love of her life that she had refused for the moment because I had taken her by surprise and that 'she didn't feel at all ready to become my mistress and that she had to think about it.
She told me "my first order" laughing, now sleep, tomorrow we work.
I haven't slept.
I'm sorry to bother you with my stories, but I needed to talk about it.

Wow sophie, your babysitter is really cruel, i don't think i can handle that. I wish you a lot of courage.
My regards
Ingrid

Dearest Sophie,

I am so, so sorry that you were punished. I do not mean to criticize your guardian (that is not my pace and would not be polite) but I think this was very harsh and unfair. You only told me what you saw that I did that you thought was wrong. You did not go to my supervisor to tell them and say I should be punished. Because of the way we both have to live, we know that there might be punishment for doing wrong things but that is part of the situation. I still think you are strict and maybe a little cruel, but not vicious. In you r defense, I would say that if you did want me to be punished, it was only to make me learn to me better.

I think I understand that you had to wear the skating shoes overnight because we talked about them. I hope that if I am allowed permission to stay here, that I am not punished for talking to my friends about what we do.

The Tabasco on your mouth might have been a good way to remind you about being aware of what you say. I sometimes have punishments that "fit the crime". It must have been very hard to have to drink all that water and then be put it the diaper. Treating you like a baby makes it hard to keep a good view on your identity. I hope you are allowed to stop the diaper and the bad name soon.

The lego chair is an interesting idea. I know there are things like that made with short nails through a board and used bottle caps attached to a seat.

I really hope things ar better for you soon. I am sorry this is happening to you just for trying to help me.

Dear Ingrid,

It is sad that your first try at talking to Anje did not go the way you had hoped. Theses ideas can be a bit of a shock when people first hear about it. I hope she will think about the idea and see how this will be good for you and can be good for her and for your relationship. It is good that she took time to console you and is going to think about this.

It is not a bother for you to tell us things. We are all here to help each other and listen.
I hope you get good sleep tonight and things get better after talking.

Respectful hugs to all,
705