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Diary

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1

The top of the matter today is a great sense of disappointment.

The beginning of the day was normal, I already saw in the morning that the beautiful summer day was outdoors. I saw through the window a beautiful blue and sunny sky. It felt good. Other I can not see because the windows are close to the roof of the room, high ... anyway, summer is here early, it feels good.

After the morning activities I moved to inside day / working cell. I ate breakfast and the guard put the power on my computer.

I read my emails, there was some job mail and messages from my friends / fans.
There was also a message from the Committee. It was a short message saying that I'm not going to the Bond Con event.
The decision has been made and will not be discussed further.

I am very disappointed, I do not even know why I'm disappointed because I realized that the opportunity to go is very small.
Sometimes people have dreams that can not be realized.
I understand that my transportation and practical issues would have been difficult to organize.
In addition, I might have made a mistake that I spoke publicly about it. It was not wise.

I'm trying to do some work now and look forward to my outdoor time.
I know that the sun and the warm to cheer me. At least I hope so.

I will write more later...

Outdoors was a wonderful weather!
Here has been a great weather for over a week now, much warmer than normal. And it's still going on.
Since nothing in my life happens fast, I have just the wrong clothing for the sunny and hot outside air.
I have my long black leather skirt and jacket complies with the rules when I'm outdoors. The policy changes in a month's time, not before.
But still, it was nice to sit on the bench and enjoy the heat and clean air.
The spring air smelled nice ..

Fortunately, my place outside is in the shade, does not have to be directly in the sun.
It would be nice if I could eat and drink outside but it's banned from me.
... it would be difficult because I have mittens in hand, and the cuffs locked to the waist. But that would be a nice idea, one more dream.

Today is Monday, it means that now is a bit more busy working day.
I still had time to chat with my friends on facebook and chat bdsm.com.
I have also received new material to forum, stay tuned ...  :)

Now I have to do some work. I may write today.

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-05-21 15:47:52)

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2

My yesterday's feeling of disappointment has fallen.
I thought about it rationally and chats with a few people.
It helped me to remember and understand the basic principle that has been since the very beginning.

I'm not a performing artist, I do not need such publicity.
At the beginning it was clear that there are no pictures of me and my environment, and so on, and no public appearances.
In this way, we protect my family, my close and other people who are involved here.

I have sometimes thought that it is strange that alcoholism, drug addiction and other things  (narcissism) are acceptable but my life style arouse negative thoughts.
The aforementioned issues destroy families and the environment, I do not hurt anyone ...
:) 
This was my thoughts this morning ... now I'm waiting that I can enjoy the sun.

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3

Here again...
I'm gonna have a visitor here tonight. It was a great surprise to me.
Here are not many visitors . Standard guests are my brother and one of my old friend, she has been my friend before the teenage age. So for a long time...
My brother visits regularly every month.
So also my friend before, but now she has a family and a child, they take time so she did not always have time to come here. We're writing a lot, almost every day something.

In addition, some Members of the Committee will visit here every month (O-day/weekend).
Also a person with whom I discuss psychological issues.
That are all the people who visit here normally.

Before, in the old place I had more visitors but here's a new place is much stricter rules, maximum security.

There is no sunshine today, the weather is much cooler than yesterday. However, nice weather for outdoor activities, at least not rain.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

wow, it's nice when people like me!
I have a Facebook friend limit  full (5,000), I can not get any more and now I got to know that I am the bdsm.com VIP member ... brilliant!

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-05-23 17:54:29)

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4

It's extremely difficult not to like you, since you are a very kind person, from what I've chatted with you so far. :) Congrats on becoming a VIP member and I hope the visits go well. :)

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5

Thank you for your kind words, LightChan.
... I can tell that maybe everyone does not like me, I can also be a difficult person sometimes.

The visit went well, it was surprising to me.
The visitor was a person who is a member of the committee. She is the only member of what I can say as a friend, we have a very strong unifying bond.
The other members' attitude is more " formal", it involves behaviors for me and other things.

I meet some members of the committee once a month, usually related to my O-Day / Weekend session. In that context, I can talk to them about other things as well.
By the way, I can be by email or through a guard contact with them.

so ... yesterday I got a pedicure!
It is very unusual, normally the guard will help me with the toe nail and that's it.
This time it was different. I got a foot bath and a very accurate nail care, greasing etc.
Feet is not very important to me, of course, is nice that they are in good condition and painless, but I have no obsession with them.
I have the boots throughout the day, usually I do not even see my bare feet.

At first I thought that this is some sort of compensation that I could not get BondCon event but it was not entirely from it.
... I usually get no compensations. The decisions are theirs and I accept them. that's it.

Eventually, she told me the cause of pedicure.
My next O - session is accompanied by balletboots. She wanted to make sure that my toes are okay, enough short nails, etc.
This way, we can avoid injuries and permanent problems.

I have some controversial feelings about balletboots and -shoes. They are not my favorites.
In general, a weird and stretched position gives pain to my ankles, even if I do not even stand them.
I can stand for them for a while, but walking is difficult and gives pain to the toes as well.
My balletboots walking is not anything sexy...
I have gel cushions to the toe area, they balance the pressure but still it is painful.
My legs and toes have to be in good shape for this activity, I appreciate her care.

Anyway, it was fun to get good care.
We met in the visit room, as usual. I had secured my my chair, cuffed and locked, as usual.
It was very unusual for me to have my feet on her lap and she did care for them. I could get used to it ...
We talked freely about many things, laughed and enjoyed the company.
It was nice and uncommon for me.
I still have now a good and enjoyable feeling in my legs.

O-session waiting also started yesterday, usually I do not think so much in advance but now it's different.
Basically, the session started yesterday, expectation and the excitement it causes will rise slowly.
It's a weird mix of fear and excitement.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

I thought when I was outdoors ...
The original reason for the balletboots being involved in the next O session is that one of my friends in the chat told me that would be nice if he knew I had a balletboots when I chat to him.
I thought it would be nice to fulfill his wish but at the same time I knew it was impossible.
However, I told it to my friend at the Committee, mostly because the idea amused me.
But here we are now ... waiting for his wish to be fulfilled.
I do not believe that I can have a chat during the session but still ... I remember you, Timo!

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-05-24 14:20:24)

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6

I did not have a good night ... I slept badly.
The reason was that my ankles were stretched at night.
After evening activities the guard locked some kind of foot brace into my ankles. Their purpose was stretch my ankle to the ballet position.
It was  rear-foot-shaped steel rail, the heel was a small cup so that the rails remained in place.
Then the straps on the ankle, calf and front leg, behind the toes, five straps. On top of them legcuffs, as usual.

It was a very long night, I slept for short periods but I woke up constantly. I got cramps and pain. It was very frustrating.
In the morning the guard almost carried me to the toilet / shower, I could not walk properly.

I have balletboots now. I sit behind my desk and I am happy that I do not need to stand.
Basically, sitting is pretty good, the ankles are now accustomed to the posture and the toes will not be painful as I sit. The shoe is very narrow and the shape of my leg is not used to it but still it is ok. I understand that the model of the shoe should be narrow and constricted so that it can support the feet.

I'm waiting for the O session to start today. Maybe in the evening, perhaps by day, after outdoor ... I do not know.
... if I do not update the forum so you know I have some other activity. :)
I can not deny the fact that I'm overstrained, I do not usually use the word "horny" but now we are close.

O sessions can take an evening, a day or a whole weekend. I do not know what happens but I know how it ends ... to great satisfaction and enjoyment (at least I hope so). I am waiting for this for a whole month.

Another thing:

I want show the gifts I received.
My friend / fan ordered these to me. They have been with me for some time (early birthday gift) but now I got pictures of them.
They are beautiful!
Thank you very much, I am grateful and proud of those.

https://imgbox.com/DirP3632
https://imgbox.com/r6Iuvt2p

https://imgbox.com/g/ViMtx2oQSx

Unfortunately, the collar is not secure enough (no steel) so I can not use it ... But it's so beautiful! Note the CG letters ... :)

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-06-01 09:05:38)

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7

Those gifts are beautiful, indeed.

And I hope you enjoy the ballet boots, too.

Last edited by LightChan (2018-05-25 21:41:11)

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8

I am here again.

:)

I am a little tired, some of the places on the body are sore now.
The weekend was hard and different. I am, however, good condition and tomorrow will be more updates.

Now I have a few busy jobs to do.

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9

Miisa Karlsson wrote:

I am here again.

:)

I am a little tired, some of the places on the body are sore now.
The weekend was hard and different. I am, however, good condition and tomorrow will be more updates.

Now I have a few busy jobs to do.

Being tired can be good. :) Glad to know you're back!

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10

new week again ...

Last weekend I got outside air and the sun more than ever!
Unlike normality, my O-session was almost all outdoors.
It was associated with some discomfort, pain, frustration, humiliation, bondage, and other elements that are always involved in my sessions.
The award was many awesome orgasms.

The committee members, who usually take care of my session were now traveling (surprise...!).
I am sure that they were BondCon event.

My sessions are always different but now everything was totally different, due to the outdoors.
On Friday, before my outdoor time, I had to take out clothes, all except the balletboots that were in my feet.
I was escorted out into the yard and set to lie down on the lawn, there were four woodsticks on the ground, maybe wrists thick. They were in the form of a square
I was placed in the X position and my ankles and wrists were tied to those sticks.

Tight leather straps were placed in many places in my body.
Breast upper and lower, at the waist... very tight. In the upper part of the thigh, upper and lower knees. Likewise also on the arms, up the armpit, upper and lower elbows. between the wrist and the elbow.
The straps were about 4-5 cm wide.

I was wondering the purpose of everything.
I was carefully treated with protective oil. I was ready to sunbathe.

Finally, I understood the purpose of the straps / belts. When my skin gets the color from the sun, skin below the belts remains light.
I get persistent stripes on my skin... like a prisoner uniform in a naked skin!

I got a bottle of water and a hose in my mouth once in a while, I was able to drink if necessary.
The sun felt very hot! Here is now more than 10 degrees (Celcius) warmer than normal, Totally blue sky, no clouds.
They oiled me carefully, I had a feeling of well-being. Still my position became slightly uncomfortable, I could not move.
In the end, I was turned. I was in the same position in my stomach, again carefully oiled.
My body began to be painful, I would not have wanted to be there anymore.
My handlers discussed, they came to the conclusion that I need something else to think about.
One of them took a light flogger and used it to my back, butt and thighs.
It was nice! Flogger was so light that it did not hurt but it moved the air and breathed in my oiled hot skin.
I really enjoy it, maybe even a little bit excited about it.

They placed  under my waist the pillow, it was a long, circular cylindrical shape. Diameter maybe 40 cm. It forced my ass up, it was not a comfortable position because my hands and feet had been forced to stretch out.
They put butt plug next to my head and told to lick the slippery, suck it.
I knew the session was getting harder ...
Plug was next to me but it was very difficult to get it.
One of them grabbed me from my hair, lifted my head and forced me to lick plug, it was in her hand.
At the same time, another person added sun cream to my body, while his slippery hand and fingers rubbed my anus and pussy. He rubbed me hard but it felt pretty good with slippery.
Also, my anus was now greased. because my legs was spread I was very open. They played the plug and my anus. They pushed it in and took it off, always a little further. they kept it plug at a thicker spot for a while and again took off.
The end result of the pumping was a mighty fart that was amusing them. I think it was humiliating ...
Eventually they left the plug in.
They showed me the next tool... Penisgag ... Not my favorite. It had harness around my head.
I asked for water and I got it. I took it with a hose from the bottle, my cheek on the ground.
The gag was luckily not a giant, its diameter maybe 4 cm and a length of 6-8 cm. it was very unpleasant. Though it was soft silicone it forced my mouth open and was so long that it was close to causing a gag reflex.
The harness around my head was tightened. They were very tight, in my opinion, unnecessarily tight. It had a strap over my head, cheeks over and under the chin. All very tight. Straps forced the gag deep into my mouth.
I struggled even though I knew it would be useless. Eventually I had to surrender and adapt.
I was able to breathe well through the nose. I could blow air through the mouth, but I could not breathe in anything other than the nose. it was a bit scary.

One of them rubbed me behind, treated my vagina. At the same time, I felt like pushing something inside me, some kind of dildo, I thought.
It was a good dildo, it rubbed me inside when it was moved.
Then it stopped.

They put something on my head, a thin fabric or something.
They said it was Sunscreen so I could not get a headache from the sun.
It was nice to think, but at the same time it prevented me from seeing what was happening.

I lay there tied to the ground, my butt up. The sun grill my greased body. All my hole was filled with rubber / silicon. Can the girl wish for more ...

They dined, in the yard there is also a grill and they did some food, they drank and ate. I waited.

Eventually, they came back. was again a flogging time ... this time the tool had become heavier.
They added the cream and treated me with a flogger. As if they were dealing with the barbecue meat.
I tried to complain but gag made it difficult ... and it would have had no effect.
They rubbed in the same vibrator in my pussy. Dildo moved back and forth in my inside.

I was excited, wanted to reach orgasm, but there was still a way to go.
Suddenly the process changed. Dildo paused, massage stopped.
Flogger changed to hard stick.
I knew it would hurt, but I was so excited that I did not care anymore. I had already crossed the border on the way to orgasm.
I was crying, shouting, and weeping. Orgasm need was great, I wanted to feel the whip attacks that would take me forward.
They gave a whip, ass, back of thighs...
every hit was burning but it quickly became a heat that fed my orgasm.
In the end, vibrator again treated my pussy, hard.
... and then it came. massive orgasm. I could not breathe, I discharged and felt how hot fluids within me moved. The dildo was moved heavily back and forth, and I felt my fluid splashes in outside on my thighs.
I shaking and trembling, struggled for a moment and then calmed down. I got deep peace.

I thought and hoped that my ties would be taken away but that did not happen.
The pillow underneath me was taken off and I was back on my back. The fabric cloth was in my face, it felt really comfortable.
Gag was even more unpleasant about this way. The drool came down in my throat and felt all the time that I would shrink.
I was hot, unbearably hot.

At the same time, I feel how a sudden cold water was pouring on me!
They put a sprinkler work and it watered the lawn and me.
for a little while it seemed pleasant but quickly the cold water started to feel uncomfortable.
In addition, the fabric on my face was wetted and breathing through it was really difficult, especially when I was able to breathe only through the nose.

The fabric was lifted off my face.
They explained to me that my face should be protected, otherwise it would happen so that my face would be shaded by the gag's harness. It was nice when they took care of me ...
...The option would have been to take the gag off but it was not their idea, the cloth came back to my face.

In addition, they said that the balletboots, which were new, are great kangaroo leather. They are good wet properly and then finally tighten on my leg, then they will completely shape my ankles while drying. Like top-level skates...I thought maybe watering could have been done in some easier way.

The same pillow was placed again under me, now I had to bend the back backwards.
Butt plug inside me felt uncomfortable in this position.

They started again in my pussy manipulation.
under the cold water it did not feel comfortable but still I felt an excitement.
I had to concentrate on breathing because as soon as I tried to breathe quickly, wet cloth prevented my breathing from my nose. It was hard to be calm when someone's fingers are inside you.
I felt that there were two fingers inside me, they moved slowly and felt up. I shudder when they found the right point, my excitement point. It's like a trigger that makes me jump. He began to deal with points, rubbed it at an accelerating rate, and ultimately shake it violently.
At the same time, he placed a hand on my face, on a wet cloth. I could not breathe!
It was a very fast and fierce Orgasm, very brutal.
My body was so tense that the butt plug flew by force.
Even though the fabric was taken out of my face I could not breathe, it felt that my throat was swollen, I did not get oxygen, I was in panic.
They quickly took my gag of, it was not easy because the straps were tight.
I might have been unconscious for a moment, I came across when they slap me on the cheeks.
The cushion under my pelvis was gone. My body still shakes after the orgasm.
I had come  a little poo with the plug. I did not care about it.
Water did not come anymore.
The ropes of my hand were removed and I was seated, behind the back was placed a big box to lean on. I was given a bottle of water that I would drink. They looked at me with interest.
"You're really something special!" said one of them.
I think it's a compliment ...

I asked that even my legs could be free but that was not possible. They promised to do something about it. They tightened my balletboot laces, they feel really tight now.
Eventually they brought my normal cuffs. They released my ropes and put me in hogcuff position.
Again on the sun, because the balletboots had to dry carefully in my feet.

I was given food, small pieces of grilled food I could eat without hands. plate in front of me in ground.
I was like an animal, a pet but I did not care about it.
I was very tired but I also had two great orgasms.
I had won this game.

When the evening came, they carried me in and I was put on a bed as usual.
Balletboots were still in my legs, they should dry all night, maybe the next day ....

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-05-28 18:54:32)

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11

I am upset.
On the weekend all forum images were deleted.
They were already over 2000 pictures, now they are gone.

Yesterday was a depressing day, but now I'm on the way up again.
I'll upload the pictures again ... until they are deleted again :)

It means hard work and reorganization but I have time ...

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12

any idea how / why they were deleted?

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13

many service providers had to change their rules globally due to changes in laws and regulations.
I think this is the effect of that.
But I really dont know...

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14

Hard work... that's a lot and it's frustrating.
I will put pictures back to the forum, fortunately I have time ... :)

Here's hot and dry weather for a long time, it's very strange.
The news says that the forest fire risk is great, it does not happen here often.
Hope people in nature are cautious.

I get some new clothes today!
A lighter skirt and other clothes that fit the summer better.

I love leather but my long skirts feel too heavy now.

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15

Again a new week ahead ...
I got some new clothes yesterday!

There has been a very warm weather here for a long time.
I just read yesterday that here was the same kind of weather last hundred years ago ... it's uncommon.

My long leather skirts felt very hot outdoors, they were like armor. But it was only one hour a day. Inside the building everything was fine.
Now I have lighter skirts, one is black and the other is gray. They are relatively narrow, long skirts. not hobble skirts however. I can walk in them as well as my legcuffs allow.
The black skirt has white vertical lines on the sides, gray skirt more yellowish.
Those can say to the prisoner's stripes. but it does not matter.
These stripes are now in vogue, they make the legs look taller :) :) :)
... it is not very important, I do not have even a decent mirror here. And no one else can see me.

I remember the time when my clothes should have the same stripes.
Then their purpose was to truly humiliate me,
They made me feel imprisoned every moment. They had no practical meaning but a very great psychological significance.
Now I do not see it as a problem ... what does it say about me?

In addition, I also have new shirts, tubes, panties and socks.
New corsets will come later.

The fun part is that now that I get cooler clothes, the weather is dramatically changing here.
Yesterday was over 25 degrees (Celsius), tomorrow it is barely 15 degrees ...

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16

:( :(
I miss my leather skirt and jacket.
Outdoors was really cool and windy weather. Great change compared to yesterday.
One big German retail shopchain (Lidl)  uses here the slogan "Summer is the best day in Finland". It is fun and often also rightly said.
In several years here are only a few real summer days (this year is an exception).

I also made the mistake that I choose the option that I sit on the bench for all the outdoor time.
Another option would be to stand / walk a short trip back and forth.
I always have to make a choice before going out. I can not change it afterwards.
... they are rules and routines in my life.

Now I did choose and I was locked up in the bench.
Cool air and bad wind were not the best option for sitting on the bench.

I was very happy that the time came full and I got back inside!

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17

I just realized that my diary has many readers.
I did not think it was of interest to people but now I see here are many visitors.

Maybe they are random, incautious clicks or some are interested in weather in finland ... :)

Anyway, it will put more pressure on me. Some people chat with me online chat and via e-mail, I know they read a diary and want to comment on it directly to me, it's nice.

Then the daily weather: The sky is cloudy, the wind is windy. I can not say anything else yet. I'll tell you more when I've been out.

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18

i think only few of the clicks are my ransom or accident .. 8)

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19

agricola64 wrote:

i think only few of the clicks are my ransom or accident .. 8)

...well, accidents can happen.

I got done Cage-section (Forum) yesterday. Today I'm trying to do something more.

The sun shines, the sky is blue ... :) coming a good day.

Today annoys me (again) ... the stupidity of politicians or peoples stupidity because they vote for people who do not understand anything of normal people's lives.
It is probably the same thing around the world but still ... great stupidity and pursuit of their own interest.

It is said that Finland is the least corrupt country in the world. That's not the truth.
Finns are so stupid that they do not realize / notice things. That's it.
Elsewhere corruption is more open and common knowledge. Here in Finland it is hidden but still strong.
:) Here's all about politics today. Nothing to add.

Next, nicer thing.
I have been asked to attend bondage- and fetish- supplies design!
Collars, harnesses, shackles, restraints etc. I have a fairly long experience of them and now one factor asked me if I want to design new things. ... Oh yes! I want!
I am quite excited about this!

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20

I read your diary allmost every day.

Its great that you write it!

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21

I'm here because I'm also a member of your Yahoo Group.  Glad to see you active here.  Shame about the pictures though. :)

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22

Harry C wrote:

I read your diary allmost every day.

Its great that you write it!

Thank You Harry, I try my best  :)

NoRestForTheWeary wrote:

I'm here because I'm also a member of your Yahoo Group.  Glad to see you active here.  Shame about the pictures though.

I'm trying to be active here.
The Yahoo group did not work well. maybe people are not, however, could not find it.
The group has 1600 members but they are very quiet, maybe they're just shy ...
In my previous blogs on tumblr had a total of more than 10 000 followers (many blogs), but they were removed unexpectedly. :(
Therefore, I can conclude that these things are of interest to some people.

Most peoples want to watch and find pictures and it's okay.
I will do my best that I can to serve them.

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23

Yet more interesting entries in the diary. Despite not having been too active lately, I still read this everyday. :)

Miisa Karlsson wrote:

I have been asked to attend bondage- and fetish- supplies design!
Collars, harnesses, shackles, restraints etc. I have a fairly long experience of them and now one factor asked me if I want to design new things. ... Oh yes! I want!
I am quite excited about this!

I'm sure it will be an  interesting experience for you. Can't wait to know more! Who knows if one day I'll be wearing gear designed by you? ;)

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24

this is a great day!

I got pictures of the product design which I have participated.

The collar shape and  material has been asked for my opinion.
It is almost 7 mm thick, 10 to 7 cm high and shaped anatomically.
Also, it's very strong, made for hard, real use.
In fact, the manufacturer says it can be used even when towing a car. :)
It's a black, lovely leather!

I am already planned other things, pictures of them will come later, and I hope.

https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Collar bw.jpg
https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Musta kaulapanta tuplalenkill. Nahkaa .JPG

This is also my design.
Leather wristband with a lockable chain or under the cuff.
Pleasant leather for long-term use.
https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Ranneke.jpg

In fact, the manufacturer is looking for photo models to demonstrate new products.
The models have a good opportunity for public appearances with high quality products.

Last edited by Miisa Karlsson (2018-06-13 10:15:09)

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25

They look lovely! You have potential in this. :)

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26

Would be very interesting to be able to buy Miisa designed bondage restraints. :)

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27

LightChan wrote:

They look lovely! You have potential in this.

I'm trying hard :)
All my ideas can not be realized but he is a patient maker. He teaches me.

NoRestForTheWeary wrote:

Would be very interesting to be able to buy Miisa designed bondage restraints.

It is quite possible.
Simply tell your wish (for me or the manufacturer).
We design it and if you like it, he make it and then he sends it to you.
All products are unique, just for you.

In addition, one more detail ...
Because the products are unique. Many "strange things" are possible.
He told me that he was making a collar with black leather cover,  that leather was before a Domina lady's leather pants ... The customer was very happy, so he could feel the dominas touch around his neck all the time.

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28

Today was supposed to be the first photography of my design products but there was some problem. The model fell ill and she canceled the session.
That was a disappointment.
I was expecting that I would see pictures of my products, but now it did not happen.

:) I'm talking about "my products" although in fact I have a very small part of it.

The photographer told that he has some bondage shootings tomorrow, maybe they can also shoot  "my" products at the same time. I dont know.

In any case. Here's just a new product. Green leather collar and cuff with chain.
https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Kaulapanta ja ranneke, vihre nahka, ketjulla.JPG

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29

It looks great! Looking forward to another entry! :D

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30

product of the day. Snake Skin Collar!
https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Snake Skin.JPG
https://bep.pic.fi/gallery/Ksitit/Snake Skin and Black collar.JPG

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