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Diary

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451

I do not think this is a permanent or long term arrangement.
Basically, this is also my idea and thought sometimes years ago.

Helplessness has interested me as part of a controlled life. This is really it now.

I don’t know if this interests anyone and whether anyone wants to know more. However, I will say something. These are things that cannot be understood without genuine experience.
Long braces on the legs prevent almost any movement. It is a good thing if you are paralyzed or your legs are very weak for some other reason.
For healthy feet, it is difficult because they prevent normal movement. A movement that is not even thought of normally.
The braces are firmly attached to my boots with a caliber tube. It is a flat square steel tube that is attached under my boot, between the sole and the heel.
From there, a steel rail rises on both sides of the ankle and ends at a joint that is exactly at my ankle joint.
There is some movement in the ankle joints forwards and backwards but not laterally. Not a single millimeter.
Normally the foot from the ankle down can be moved, turned outwards or inwards but now it is impossible.
From the ankle rise the rails up to the knees which are some kind of aluminum.
Brace knees have joints at the joints of the foot. Then the aluminum rails continue up, the inner rail close to my crotch and the outer upper.
The legs and thighs have aluminum parts made tightly according to my foot that wrap around the back of my leg.
In addition, there are leather parts attached to the aluminum frame. They are like tight corsets around my thighs and legs. They are laced tightly. In addition, there is a leather cuff in front of the patella that prevents my knee from moving.
Braces knee joint is automatically locking in such a way that if the leg is straightened, brace locked in a straight position.

Normally, the lock system works so that the user can also release the lock when she wants to sit or the like.
In my case, it doesn't work that way. Only the guard can release the lock.
That is, if I get up to stand and the locks snap shut, my legs will stay straight.
Basically, I have to sit all the time so it doesn’t happen by accident.
It is a very direct form of control.

Also, sitting is a bit awkward because I have to sit on the aluminum parts now. Everything is nicely upholstered and nothing hurts my thighs or legs but it is uncomfortable. I feel them all the time.

In addition, I'm so vain that I'm afraid that sitting on top of all of that spoiling my leather skirt.

I still have a meeting with the Committee today.
Maybe this experiment will end now!

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452

The experiment is still going on.

I met two members of the Committee last night.
One of them has made my braces, he was very interested in my thoughts and feelings.
He checked very carefully all the points that could produce problems.
It gave me a weird feeling again, it’s a mixture of maybe even torture and at the same time strict care for me ... I feel cared for but at the same time I feel uncomfortable.
At the same time, I myself am also interested in how my feelings progress. Also physically.

After checking, I tried a corset that was attached to the leg braces. It is a tight long corset with a full steel frame, leather upholstery inside and outside.
It is shaped so that it comes up under my armpits and under my tits. It comes down almost to my hips from the sides but is shaped so that I can sit reasonably well.
The corset and leg braces have an accessory that connects the joint with steel rails to each.
In the evening I lay on the table and this member of the Committee explained to the guards how the whole thing would be put on me.

When I lay on that table the whole thing even felt comfortable.
The guards learned how the parts are attached to each other and how the joint locks work.
I felt like a robot!
The body of the corset is strong but because the hip joints are far apart, they are subjected to a lot of torsion if I try to move.
That’s why the leg braces are joined together with the spacers so my legs are like welded together.

After the test, everything was stripped away from me and I had normal evening activities.
It felt good to walk again "normally" even though my legs were weak after immobility.
I slept my night according to normal routine.

In the morning I got new neoprene leggings and a shirt.
Leggings are open crotch so they're pretty practical.
Neoprene isn’t as comfortable as cotton, it’s more sniffy and I don’t like it. But it’s thicker and prevents a rigid metal body from rubbing against my skin.

It was strange to see a brace corset ensemble of themselves standing next to the wall, waiting for me.

It really looks like a robot body.
It is also very heavy! I watched as the guards dealt with it. It requires strength from them.

I sat on the bed, legs straight. Handcuffs behind my back.
The guards dressed me like a hospital patient ... socks, then braces and boots at the same time. They laced the braces carefully. Because the braces are exactly made for me, they fit perfectly when the boots are on my feet.
When the braces were in place for my handcuffs were opened, corsett part was put under me and I fell down at the "in" it.

The handcuffs were moved to the front and my hands were raised over my head and attached to the end of the bed.
The corset was closed and laced. Because the steel frame of the Corset is at the back, the cords are in front of me.
When everything was ready, my handcuffs were removed from the bed and I was helped to stand. I moved next to the wall and the handcuffs were attached up to a chain on the roof.
The leg braces were joined together with accessories, the knee locks were locked so my lower body was completely stiff.

The joint connecting the braces and the corset was tightly connected with screws.
I stood straight, hands up, and the guards tightened the corset lacing once and for all.

"And now a surprise gift from the Committee," the female guard said with a smile and brought a large stack of leather into the cell.
She introduced me to two big leather pieces. Black leather, leather was clearly thicker than normal dress leather, It was like furniture upholstery leather.
“Since your normal clothes would be hard to wear, you now get new ones designed for this use,” she said.

The skirt was long, from waist down to ankles. It was widening slightly downwards. It had a long zipper all the way so the skirt could be fully opened, it was easy to put on me.
Likewise, the top had to be zipped at the back. It was sleeveless and effectively covered the corset cords that were on the front, under the shirt. The shirt was tight, made to measure but it didn’t matter because the corset was tight anyway.
The shirt had wide shoulder straps that were closed with lockable buckles. Thus, the shirt is able to wear handcuffs locked.

Eventually I stood in the middle of the cell like a statue, I had no chance to move.
Feeling was not stable, a small gust of wind could knock down me easily. Fortunately, the guard supported me all the time.
I already had time to think about that as I move into the daytime cell. The problem was solved quickly when another guard brought in a small trolley.

The guards simply lifted me onto the platform and tied me to the frame with a nylon strap.
They pushed me to the day cell, next to the office chair.
My lock was opened so I could sit in a chair, I was fastened to a chair so I couldn’t accidentally fall down.

I started my day as always, ate my breakfast and started the day’s work.

Everything feels more difficult now that movements are severely restricted. My arms move normally but I can't turn my upper body, for example. It also has a big impact on the function and reach of the hands.
I have to learn a lot of new ways of doing things.
I can move my legs up and down below the knees but I need to be precise so the knee locks don’t snap shut.
While sitting, the corset presses against my lower ribs, it feels painful all the time. When I stood there was no problem.

I have already had one toilet visit and a food break today.
The toilet requires a lot of work and learning, including from the guards.

Today it is bad weather, windy and rainy outdoors. I don’t have outdoor activities today, thankfully.

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453

This is indeed very interesting.

Beyond the physical implications, i assume this forces you to constantly think about every movement you make, that everything has to be done very deliberately and that it somehow leaves your brain less room to think autonomously about other things.

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454

Last night, when the braces and corset were removed, the device manufacturer visited my cell.
He talked to me and looked at my body closely.
The neoprene had worked well and equalized the pressure against my body. Neoprene is quite comfortable although it is a very warm material.
Traces of my lower ribs were clearly visible and he believed my message that it was causing a lot of pain.
Since it is not meant to cause me direct pain he decided to take braces and a corset with him to his workshop.
He changes the geometry of the hip joint so that it works better in a sitting position. He said that in normal use, such a device is meant to be more standing so that joint can cause problems.

So the experiment is now over, at least for a moment.
We have returned to a normal routine and I only have my normal restraints and chains.
I am happy now with my legcuffs etc, I sit here and move my legs freely, listening as the chains jingle happily.

After the modifications, the experiment continues, I think.
I am basically more interested in how my body will adapt to hard limitations. My mind too.
In principle, however, this was nothing out of the ordinary. Some people with disabilities use these devices on a daily basis.
In my case, the purpose is completely different but the equipment and technology are the same.

At the same time, I feel special and very well taken care of and it strangely flatters me.

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455

liev wrote:

This is indeed very interesting.

Beyond the physical implications, i assume this forces you to constantly think about every movement you make, that everything has to be done very deliberately and that it somehow leaves your brain less room to think autonomously about other things.

You are right.
All new restrictions "forcing" me to think about and concentrate on what I'm doing.
Now at first I had trouble getting used to braces. Once I got used to them a bit, a corset was added.
The corset part caused a lot of pain with other difficulties so I couldn’t focus on anything.
I look forward to how tight body restraints feel without constant pain.

There is still an accessory to the corset that also stiffens my neck and head position. It may be tried sometime in the future.
There are also arm braces, the ones I look forward to in horror.

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456

I would definitely be interested in asking further questions, relating to the way you are controlled and conditioned (and the choices of all the ways you are and are not constrained).

I however, i do not know whether it is something you want/feel comfortable/are authorized to discuss and within what context and with what limits ?

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457

liev wrote:

I would definitely be interested in asking further questions, relating to the way you are controlled and conditioned (and the choices of all the ways you are and are not constrained).

I however, i do not know whether it is something you want/feel comfortable/are authorized to discuss and within what context and with what limits ?

You can ask what you want.
I have the right to discuss everything related to my life.
Just the names of people and other information as well as something places I can’t tell.

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458

Thank you for your authorization. I will not ask any identifying information of course.

One thing that both admire and wonder about is your psychological stability.

I both admire your own resilience and the ways the Committee has let you keep an equilibrium in your life.

When i say "let you", i don't know wether it's their decisions? a negotiation between you and them? Are there regular meetings to update the situation? it seems there is?

This being said, i also believe that your world/expectatiosn/recent life experiences are severely curtailed. I wonder if you could maybe give us an update on your current worldview and impact on your psychology especially compared to how you were seeing things a couple years ago.

Its always interesting to reflect on our past and our evolution. And i also believe it could be interesting for many people who also feel some constrained/confined since the beginning of the COVID epidemic (not that i compare this to your own situation of course!).

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459

liev wrote:

Thank you for your authorization. I will not ask any identifying information of course.

One thing that both admire and wonder about is your psychological stability.

I both admire your own resilience and the ways the Committee has let you keep an equilibrium in your life.

When i say "let you", i don't know wether it's their decisions? a negotiation between you and them? Are there regular meetings to update the situation? it seems there is?

This being said, i also believe that your world/expectatiosn/recent life experiences are severely curtailed. I wonder if you could maybe give us an update on your current worldview and impact on your psychology especially compared to how you were seeing things a couple years ago.

Its always interesting to reflect on our past and our evolution. And i also believe it could be interesting for many people who also feel some constrained/confined since the beginning of the COVID epidemic (not that i compare this to your own situation of course!).

It can say that I am good at adapting to issues such as restrictions because they give me feelings of safety.
But I’m not good at adapting to new changes in the daily rhythm of life.
I am strongly institutionalized and dependent on daily rhythm and routine.

In other words, I'm even excited about it that I can experience new things that limit me physically.
They challenge me and my mind to explore myself.
I have always felt that I am a prisoner who needs an effective discipline and control.
There are people on the committee who are interested in just those things.

The Committee and I are "discussing" but the connection is very slow.
That is intentional, because the Committee wants to emphasize the strength of its administration towards me. As in the original prisons.
If I want to talk about something, I have to announce it in advance and the issue may be raised at the monthly meeting.
The thing may be something practical, like even that I would like to try a new shampoo. It can take a month to process the matter.
Nothing is fast here. It emphasizes the Committee's power.

COVID-19 hasn’t had much of an impact on my life.
Of course, it prevents my physical appointments which were few anyway.
I am annoyed, for example, that a psychology student, Nina, who became my friend, cannot visit here.
We meet Online weekly but it is not the same. I think her work will end anyway, I hope we still remain friends.

At first, the epidemic reduced my work but now the situation has improved.
I'm looking for replacement jobs, such as web sites maintenance, etc. ... now I may already have a little too much work, but things will be taken care of over time.

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460

I see indeed that you are very centered on self ...by design. 

I wonder wether you have a strong sense of how the time flows long term (for example do you reflect on how you were 10 years ago versus how you are today), if yes, how do you feel about this comparison ? If no, how do you feel about living in the present only? (also obviously i ask the question present vs past....... i could also ask present vs future)

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461

liev wrote:

I see indeed that you are very centered on self ...by design. 

I wonder wether you have a strong sense of how the time flows long term (for example do you reflect on how you were 10 years ago versus how you are today), if yes, how do you feel about this comparison ? If no, how do you feel about living in the present only? (also obviously i ask the question present vs past....... i could also ask present vs future)

10 years ago, the situation was different.
I had run into difficulties in my life, in part because of my desires and stupidity.
The committee took me away from a life that might have led to my eventual collapse.

That’s when I feared for many years that I would be found and I had to pay for my stupidity.
So that is when I felt that this absolute imprisonment and arrangement with the Committee is the only option for me.

Over the years, fear has turned into a steady satisfaction in my life.

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462

i know it's been a long time, but i really hope you didn't get into this because it was "the only option for you".

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463

liev wrote:

i know it's been a long time, but i really hope you didn't get into this because it was "the only option for you".

here my dreams have come true, in a way.
Of course, I couldn’t think of everything when I was a child fantasizing about this.

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464

Something is happening today.
The Committee has asked me to transfer my work to next week so I'm not apparently reached now the end of the week.

It makes me wonder what’s going on.
Basically, it is a good thing that the work was moved to next week because it means that next week I am able to work normally again. It calms me.

I am not usually told things in advance.
Now it happened because it’s good that I can tell my clients that my “office” is closed for a few days.

So, good end of the week everyone!

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465

In a chat yesterday, I was asked if I have “Sunday Cuffs” on because it’s weekend and Sunday.
The questioner justified this by saying that people sometimes put on better clothes, for example at parties, at church or even at home.
Thatway the weekend stands out from other days.

I told him I always have the same restraints but now I was wondering if that would be a good idea?
... and how would "Sunday Restraints" be different than everyday?

Maybe the Committee could think about this, I don't know.

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466

Miisa Karlsson wrote:

Something is happening today.
The Committee has asked me to transfer my work to next week so I'm not apparently reached now the end of the week.

It makes me wonder what’s going on.
Basically, it is a good thing that the work was moved to next week because it means that next week I am able to work normally again. It calms me.

I am not usually told things in advance.
Now it happened because it’s good that I can tell my clients that my “office” is closed for a few days.

So, good end of the week everyone!

Out of curiosity, did something specific happen?

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467

liev wrote:

Out of curiosity, did something specific happen?

What happened was related to corsets and braces.
I was transported to a workshop where a new plaster model was made of me so that I sat down.
It was the only way to get the corset and braces into one so that it didn’t hurt me.

At the same time, measurements were taken from me for new summer corsets. They will be a slightly lighter material than the current ones.

It was nice to get out of here for a while even though car transportation is always awkward for me.
We even drove a “landscape route,” through the sea side where I saw spring coming. It was super great!

Late last week, we tested the corset - brace whole for a few days.
It’s pretty functional now ... very restrictive but doesn’t produce too much pain.
The experiment also included my Orgasm Session which was now a whole new kind of experience.

Basically, it can be said that this O-session lasted a whole month because corset and braces, their experimentation and testing was strongly associated with it.
It was mentally present to me the whole time.

The committee is doing a great job developing things that are just for me.
I feel particularly relevant and it gives me important experiences. It's good to feel taken care of in every way!

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468

Hello Prisoner,

I was wondering whether the corsets (or other items) have a breathing restriction impact? if yes, is this deliberate, permanent, how do you live with it?

If not, is this an interest you have or that the Comittee might have?

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469

liev wrote:

Hello Prisoner,

I was wondering whether the corsets (or other items) have a breathing restriction impact? if yes, is this deliberate, permanent, how do you live with it?

If not, is this an interest you have or that the Comittee might have?

Hello Sir

In my corsets are not tightened extreme tight.
However, I am alone for long periods of time (3-4 hours), it would be a shame if I fainted or something.
...there are surveillance cameras here but I don't know how the guards are monitoring them.
I can breathe almost normally but I can't breathe heavily like in sports or the like.
Corsets are one way of controlling, it limits me but it also supports my back because I sit a lot behind my table.
The corset also has shoulder straps that keep my posture good all day.

The corset makes me a little clumsy and slow. I have to consider my movement (that’s natural these days anyway). It is part of a controlled life.
Using a corset also modifies my diet, I eat several very small doses during the day. A large dose of solid food would bring with it big problems for me.
That, too, is part of my control.

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470

Hello Prisoner,

First, i assume that you are ok with being called Prisoner? Do you have any preference between this and Miisa?

Second, i want to ask about your femininity and human/physical interactions.

I was wondering if you missed all the feminine things like perfume, makeup, sexy clothes etc.

Also regarding, your orgams sessions,  can you tell us a little more? Especially, is this only meant as a physical release? are there steps taken to either minimize or maximize your pleasure? If this is only meant as a physical release, do you miss the feeling of intimacy that comes with regular intercourse with another human being?

thank you for your answers, i hope those questions are not too personal.

Last edited by liev (2021-05-10 11:46:58)

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471

liev wrote:

Hello Prisoner,

First, i assume that you are ok with being called Prisoner? Do you have any preference between this and Miisa?

Second, i want to ask about your femininity and human/physical interactions.

I was wondering if you missed all the feminine things like perfume, makeup, sexy clothes etc.

Also regarding, your orgams sessions,  can you tell us a little more? Especially, is this only meant as a physical release? are there steps taken to either minimize or maximize your pleasure? If this is only meant as a physical release, do you miss the feeling of intimacy that comes with regular intercourse with another human being?

thank you for your answers, i hope those questions are not too personal.

Last edited by liev (Yesterday 11:46:58)

Hello Sir

You can use my name or call me a prisoner however you want.
My friends use my name and those people who want to be superior to me use the word "prisoner."
... if the conversation starts with the term "prisoner" I will answer "sir" or "ma'am". That is a simple rule.

Basically, I don’t have access to feminine perfumes, makeup, or special, sexy clothing.
My life is based on very simple things and they are no longer related to it.
If you ask me if I miss them then the answer is yes. Kind of.
I see a lot of beautiful things through the web and I enjoy what I see but I realize that they are not for me.

The only "pleasures" for me here are soap, shampoo and odorless deodorant. As well as a moisturizer for the skin.

I basically understand that any extra  in my life brings with it extra work for the guards and I don’t want to burden them any more.
...and there’s no reason why I should wear makeup, or use perfume.

If we go to the outside world, it is possible that I will be given light, simple makeup. Then it feels great but inside here I do not need it.

O-Sessions are almost purely physical activities, involving severe bondage, pain, humiliation and even torture.
They can also be experienced as some kind of interaction but they do not involve actual intimacy or affection.
It may sound special but if it is the only way to get in touch and caring it also wants strongly.

When I think of myself, I don’t even know how I would react to normal affection anymore. It could be a very scary experience.

It is sad to say that I am an object that is dealt with in various routine situations. On normal days as well as in sessions.

What is interesting is how the human mind changes over a long period of time.

I think I am a sensible person but I might not be able to accept normal love and affection anymore.
The years in captivity has done its job.

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472

I will call you Miisa then (i am myself both submissive and masochistic).

If i may ask follow up questions regarding specifically the orgasm issue and the O-sessions.

I assume you usually don't have any access to pleasure/masturbation (breasts, vagina etc). Do you feel progressively in need of release (sorry if i'm asking with a "male" vision of things) ? If yes, to what extent? after how much time?

Do you believe you could live without the O-sessions or with them extremely reduced (for example, one every several years, so you could literally easily count them on your fingers for your entire life) ?

Why is there pain/torture ? is this only your masochism? punishment ? or simply a committee decision ? Do you also get pleasure or orgasm from the pain?

Is there edging ? Is it one or several orgasms ? Does the committee takes care that you have a good orgasm ? or to the contrary, do they stop immediately at the first sign of orgasm (and if i may...what are the signs of you orgasming) ?

How is the context of the orgasm instant ? after pain? at the same time as pain? how heavily restrained are you at that instant?

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473

liev wrote:

I will call you Miisa then (i am myself both submissive and masochistic).

If i may ask follow up questions regarding specifically the orgasm issue and the O-sessions.

I assume you usually don't have any access to pleasure/masturbation (breasts, vagina etc). Do you feel progressively in need of release (sorry if i'm asking with a "male" vision of things) ? If yes, to what extent? after how much time?

Do you believe you could live without the O-sessions or with them extremely reduced (for example, one every several years, so you could literally easily count them on your fingers for your entire life) ?

Why is there pain/torture ? is this only your masochism? punishment ? or simply a committee decision ? Do you also get pleasure or orgasm from the pain?

Is there edging ? Is it one or several orgasms ? Does the committee takes care that you have a good orgasm ? or to the contrary, do they stop immediately at the first sign of orgasm (and if i may...what are the signs of you orgasming) ?

How is the context of the orgasm instant ? after pain? at the same time as pain? how heavily restrained are you at that instant?

Thanks, Miisa sounds good :)

I don't do masturbation. It doesn't give me anything.
Maybe my own manipulation of my vagina could lead to something but it would be very difficult because of my clothes and restraints.
It would just frustrate me.
That’s why I don’t really even think about masturbation, it’s not an option.

I believe that a person can get used to everything, including the fact that life would not have orgasms and sexual satisfaction.
It would not be a perfect option because person needs it too. But its lack does not lead to death.
I can’t think of having orgasms only very rarely, every year but that wouldn’t be impossible.
To me longest time without an orgasm is half a year. That was when I was very frustrated. It was because I didn’t know when it would happen.
If I knew that my next O-session is e.g. 2024-06-01, I could position myself to wait for it because I would know for sure that it was coming.

You ask "Why is there pain/torture ? is this only your masochism? punishment ? or simply a committee decision ? Do you also get pleasure or orgasm from the pain?"
I can’t fully explain this but I “discovered” bondage even before my sexual awakening.
Bondage (during that time selfbondage) and related things made me feel good. Even then, it was accompanied by prisoner fantasies.
That is, my mind can only deal with sexuality through hard bondage.
I have never enjoyed normal, tender and loving sex (though I only have experience a few times).

That is, summarized: I need these elements so that I can reach orgasm. Apparently I am a strongly masochistic person.
There are many types of sessions but usually I get several long lasting, forced orgasms. They are often accompanied by squiring and other strong reactions, sometimes I even lose consciousness.
Recovery from a long session (several days) can take a long time, a few weeks.
That’s why my normal month break is just fine. Two weeks to recover and two weeks to wait for another.

I have noticed that over the years my ability to have an orgasm has changed so that I need more and more manipulation to achieve it.
Fortunately, the members of the Committee are resourceful and patient.

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474

Summer has begun!
I was in my outdoor area today, there was beautiful weather. The sun was shining from the cloudless sky. The birds sang, nature smelled ...
I didn’t have a bench to sit on yet, maybe I’ll get it the rest of the week.
Now I was walking and just standing in the yard. I enjoy everything. Luckily I was able to be in the shade, the direct sunlight was even a little scary!

Now I hope and expect that I will get a little lighter clothes for the summer.

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475

Thank you for your answers Miisa,

A comment if I may (though not a very original one, i'm sure) : your life is of course very controlled and structured including time wise. For example, your orgasm that are in your mind on a monthly basis.

I wonder how you adapt to changes (are you afraid? eager? stressed?) and does the Committee deliberately uses this (possible) stressor as a tool to increase their control over you ?

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476

liev wrote:

Thank you for your answers Miisa,

A comment if I may (though not a very original one, i'm sure) : your life is of course very controlled and structured including time wise. For example, your orgasm that are in your mind on a monthly basis.

I wonder how you adapt to changes (are you afraid? eager? stressed?) and does the Committee deliberately uses this (possible) stressor as a tool to increase their control over you ?

At the moment, my life is very carefully planned and timed.
I have a daily program, a weekly program and a monthly program. They are of course indicative but they provide the basis for my institutionalized and controlled life.
I don’t need to stress anything.

I think I adapt poorly to rapid change.
It’s scary to think that something big and important would change in my life. However, it doesn’t stress me because I trust the stability of my life.
I also trust that the Committee will not stress me unnecessarily.

One example of the stability of my life is precisely the work of the Committee. It has five members and every decision that affects me requires a majority, meaning no single person can suddenly affect my life.

The fact that I have been under the Committee for a long time, more than a decade. During this time, one member of the Committee has changed.
It also gives me the confidence to trust that everything will continue.

0

477

Thank you Miisa.

You are indeed very fortunate to have this stability (although it is somewhat circular, as it is the rules enforced by the committee that make you progressively depend on those rules).

How do you feel about getting older in this life? and did you already notice signs of your aging since you are under the committee control?

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478

liev wrote:

Thank you Miisa.

You are indeed very fortunate to have this stability (although it is somewhat circular, as it is the rules enforced by the committee that make you progressively depend on those rules).

How do you feel about getting older in this life? and did you already notice signs of your aging since you are under the committee control?

Getting older ... I haven't thought about it yet.
I am now 33, I have lived in captivity now for a third of my life. It's very natural for me.
I don’t know how aging in captivity is different than in freedom.
Basically, I have done and am doing my duty in society.
I do work for which I pay taxes, I use the services of society very little so I am a useful member of society. I consume very little ecologically.
I’ve given birth to a child so I’ve done my part that way too.

So the answer to the question of what it feels like to grow old in captivity ... I don't know everything yet. Maybe I'll tell it in 20 years :)

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479

Good evening Miisa,

In a way, i'm quite proud to have opened a new subject for you. On the other hand, i'm terrified of the potential consequences on you, if the Committee is displeased with this line of thinking!

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480

liev wrote:

Good evening Miisa,

In a way, i'm quite proud to have opened a new subject for you. On the other hand, i'm terrified of the potential consequences on you, if the Committee is displeased with this line of thinking!

Do not worry.
I have been encouraged to talk and share about myself, my life, and my thoughts. The committee supports me in that because it is a good thing. Of course I have certain rules about what I can’t tell (like itemized place, time, and personal information) they don’t apply to my life and thoughts here.

I like to tell all about this, it’s like therapy to me. I feel it's important. I look forward to questions and topics that force me to think about things in my life. Maybe that's how the nodes of my mind open up.

:)

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