This problem has been known. Also the fact that it gets worse but I have accepted it as part of my life imprisonment.

Over time, there have been various attempts here to maintain my physical training. I've had a treadmill where I could walk, I've also had a stationary exercise bike.
Those devices have now been moved to the guards quarters, I think. There might be more use for them there.
I have also had different gymnastics programs that we tried to do in the morning and in the evening when getting dressed. I also had an exercise program that was combined with strict bondage, it was quite challenging but I liked it... maybe too much in the sexual sense.

I have received some worried messages that something needs to be done to my back or it will get worse.

I'm not afraid of it because I'm very used to the support that a corset gives.
The corset may make me stiff, slow and clumsy, but at the same time it also makes me easy to manage and control. Just like my other restraints.

I kind of like that feeling.

I agree that my back will be examined, maybe then I will also get a new corset that will make me even more satisfied.

Yesterday I had a conversation with Nina and the members of the Committee (Ilona and one other).

We discussed my thoughts on the corset and other tight restrictions. We also talked about the importance of exercise.

Nina said that she has consulted people who have more experience in these matters as well.
In their opinion, my thoughts about strict physical control are "ordinary" if we are talking about people who have an equally strong need to face strict control and care.
There is no problem with this if there is a "support network" around this person who takes care of the person's needs and well-being.

The experts (and Nina) think that the recent happens this year have caused my thoughts to be modified in such a way that I feel that I need additional protection and care.
I also need a complete feeling of their permanence.

Thus, my physical and mental need for my tight corset is very understandable, as well as all my restraints use and practices in them.

The use of the corset is emphasized in such a way that I feel a personal touch every time when it is tightened around my body. Then there is a person near me who touches me and leaves behind a feeling of a very tight hug that lasts the whole day.
I feel it in my every movement and even in my breathing. It might make my life painful and difficult sometimes, but it's worth it.

This is why I consider it quite natural that without a corset I feel weak and vulnerable.
It might sound a bit strange, but it is completely understandable that I am firmly locked in my "bed" in many ways during the night. The position gives the best possible way for my back and body to rest without a corset without me hurting myself.
I am protected all the time.

The importance of exercise is still important, the Committee is thinking about solutions to improve it.

Restraints practices remain unchanged, nothing has happened to change my high level max security routines. I accept that, I didn't even ask for them to be changed.

Ilona talked about the future. If I need a more supportive corset, that's no problem.
I now usually have "normal" corsets that are reinforced with steel (corset bones and some other parts).
In the future, the corset can be a stronger, steel-reinforced leather version, it can also be made of plastic exactly to my body.
A neck brace can also be attached to the corset, which keeps the head firmly in the right position. Corsets like this are used, for example, in the treatment of scoliosis or due to serious spine problems. Then the user can wear it for many years without problems, maybe until the end of their life and still the user can live a normal life.

Ilona was attracted by the idea that a variety of restraint attachment points can be added to a steel-reinforced corset already in the design phase.
That sounded like a good idea.

People in the outside world have many problems, bigger than my back problem (which isn't even a problem now).
Eating disorders, various mental issues, drug use, obesity, poverty, stupidity, narcissism and many other things are more of a concern than my problems.

Our conversation was good and I felt good about it.

Finally, the obligatory "leather update" ... Ilona was dressed in her normal leather pantsuit, which always looks enviably good on her. The boots also fit the ensemble well.
Nina had basic black leather pants and a long sweater. It's nice to notice that she also likes wearing leather more and more

I would like to tell one more detail about our last meeting.
Both Ilona and Nina wore gloves on their hands throughout the meeting.
They were, of course, normal, tight leather gloves. The beautiful ones. I had my leather mittens on and my handcuffs were attached to the sides of my waist chain.

I asked why they were wearing gloves, they were sitting outside my cell, far away from me.
They said they want to wear gloves because they want to support me in solidarity.

It was a beautiful thought and it made me feel good even though I knew that my mittens restrict me and their gloves are just beautiful and comfortable gloves.

You're not an idiot
I know that my writings are sometimes difficult to read and understand.
My love for beautiful and comfortable leather is so obvious to me that I don't always even mention it. The same thing is my restraints, I don't always mention them in my writings because they are a "permanent" part of me and my life.

Dressing in leather is also mentioned in the agreement we all accepted regarding my limited life
Usually my leather clothes are black, I don't know why. I've never thought about it
Your idea of an orange, leather prison uniform sounds like a great idea, I don't know how I would get used to it but still.
Black leather kind of calms me down and in my mind it makes me inconspicuous.
Orange or some other bright color would emphasize my status as a prisoner (of course that would also be its purpose...)
An interesting thought.

I want to tell something that I witnessed about my past. It's about accepting limitations.
We discussed it with Nina and she said that it would be good to write it here as well, for Forum members to read.

As you know, I was involved in several bdsm-themed events that Yuri organized for his international guests.
The events always had the same basic theme, restricted and submissive women who were used in many ways.
The "normal" basic setup was that women who were entertaining guests were restrained in such a way that they could not use their hands.
It meant steel restraints, binding with leather or ropes, armbinders and other similar ways.
I understood that the restraints style was agreed upon between the woman and the guest, the guest could make a request and the woman agreed to it because she received a monetary payment for it.
In my opinion, everything was acceptable, even in some sense a beautiful activity. Everyone got something.
One of my tasks was to "assist" these women, for example, with the toilet, make-up and cleanliness. I made sure that the girls looked as beautiful as possible.
I only realized much later how stupid and naive I had been, but this writing does not tell about it.

In this article I want to tell about a woman whom I saw at events several times, at least 4 different times.
The first time I saw her was when she got out of the car and walked in the front door.
She had a very straight posture and she was remarkably beautiful, like royalty. She came in, she wearing a long coat with a fur collar, high heels on boots.
Beside her was another woman, she was not that impressive but she was holding a short leash in her hand, the other end of which was attached to the beautiful woman's high collar.

Yuri told me that she is an important guest at the event and she doesn't need my help. She has her own supervisor and helper nearby at all times.

The woman had her hands in the side pockets of her long coat all the time. Yuri guided them to a separate room upstairs.

I continued to guide the other guests. At some point, Yuri came to pick me up and we went to the door of this important guest room. Yuri knocked on the door and we got an answer from inside. We entered.
A beautiful woman stood straight in the middle of the floor. Another, shorter woman was behind her and was tightening her corset, a high collar was around her neck and the leash was hanging loose from it. The high collar forced her to hold her head slightly up. Her face was very nicely made up. The hair was beautifully tied up on top of the head.
I looked at her tight corset that molded her body very tightly, it even seemed supernaturally tight. I stared at her like a statue, I was completely dumbfounded by what I saw.

The woman said something to the other woman and they both laughed a little.

A sound of disbelief came out of my mouth when I finally realized why he had such a captivating look. He had no arms!

I looked at her confused, then looked at Yuri and finally saw her beautiful coat hanging on the wall. It looked like the empty coat still had full sleeves, as if the hands were still in the coat pockets!

"Don't be ashamed of your reaction" the woman smiled and said in a low voice, in weak English "everyone reacts to me like that".

"They are Malina and Alina, sisters from Tsetsenia" Yuri introduced them to me.
"Malina is a brave person who experienced a terrible drama in the war. She was a young girl who picked up a self-made pipe bomb from the ground. The bomb exploded and mutilated both her hands and much more" Yuri said "Alina is her sister. They live and move together all the time".
I was speechless. I couldn't believe that the beautiful woman in front of me had to experience something so terrible!
I was looking at her bare shoulders, or really where they should have been. The skin was smooth and only light scars were visible. Both shoulders were the same.

"I didn't look like this after the accident" Madina smiled "But still I was alive. The right arm was completely gone, the left was severed above the elbow. There were injuries on the stomach, chest and neck. I was lucky and the doctor from the aid organization was able to save my life".
I still looked at her in disbelief.
"I was a young girl then and I learned to live without hands, my sister helped me but I still hated my life" Madina said "I was useless. After many years, I got lucky when, through an aid organization, I had the opportunity to meet a plastic surgeon who had to repair me. My broken arm was removed and my face was somewhat repaired, maybe I didn't look so much like a monster anymore".
I listened and tried to imagine how terrible that woman's life has been.

"Then I met with luck" Madina smiled "a plastic surgeon wanted to take me on as a project where he made me better. He wanted to learn different techniques and I had nothing to lose. My face was repaired more, it was made even more beautiful than the original! The marks of my hand amputation were repaired with skin grafts, the skin was taken from my thighs. Some of my ribs were destroyed in the explosion, now the same bones were removed from the other side to make my body look balanced. That's why I always have to wear a tight corset now. There are also problems with my neck that couldn't be fixed".

"...and now you're here" I felt stupid and couldn't say anything wise, I was so confused.

"I'm not stupid though" Madina said "I know what I look like now and I know there are people who are interested in this kind of specialty. That's why we're taking advantage of it now. We travel all over the world for events like this and we get paid fairly for it".

"I wanted you to meet before tonight's party" Yuri said "As I told Miisa, you don't need her help with normal activities because you are together. But I want Miisa to be aware that you are not like the other women of the evening. I want to know right away if you experience inappropriate behaviour, etc. Miisa's job is to observe that as well and immediately report her observations to me".

"Now we will leave you to prepare for your performance tonight" Yuri said politely and we left the room.

I wrote this memory here now, referring to our previous conversation about the use of my corset

My wearing a corset came little by little, actually after what I wrote above.
At first I only had experiences with light corsets and little by little their use increased and the corsets (and lacing) became tighter.

Meeting Madina and getting to know her actually helped me get used to the idea of corsets.
I somehow admired her endurance and the way to turn bad things into a win.
Corsets have never been a bad thing for me.

This didn't go well... The offer was too good to be true.

The committee was in contact with the couple and the donation included a condition that this couple could come here to give the leather clothes in person.

And that's not all.
The couple wanted the woman to stay here as a prisoner for a few days, maybe a week. Same security level as me.

The committee could not agree to this idea and thus the entire offer has now been voided.
I understand that.

Of course, it would have been nice if such a plan had come true. It would have been nice to meet a person who is really interested in my life and who could share it with me in a moment.

The committee says that it could crumble the whole idea of my isolated life and thus even endanger everything that has been created for a long time.
I have nothing to say to that.

I am not a person who enjoys autumn or winter.

there's no need for me to complain because I've been confined indoors for most of my life.

In principle, it saddens me that I lost the opportunity to see the colors of nature again when autumn started. It would have been nice to have experienced some kind of "nature trip" where I could have felt the nature and weather changing in real conditions.
...in practice it could have been different if I had tripped with my shackles and chains on a muddy path in the rain , but it's a dream anyway.

At the weekend there will be a meeting (and maybe a session) with some of the Committee members.

The purpose is also to discuss my future here.
I was a little worried when I heard about the topic of discussion, but Ilona messaged me that I have no reason to worry.
The purpose is just to discuss small changes that are just fine-tuning to the already used routine.

I had visitors on Saturday and Sunday. It was nice.

It was especially nice that I was visited by a person whom I don't see very often, although I know her existence very well almost all the time.
The guest was Stine, some of my readers know her from my LifeStory posts.
Basically, Stine was the influence that got me interested in limited, controlled life. I already had thoughts about it before, but she was the one who gave me the first real experiment.

Some of my followers know that Stine is one of the Committee members. The committee has two women as members, Stine and Ilona.
Ilona is often in contact with me, but Stine stays further away.
She actively participates in the Committee's activities and decisions, but we have agreed that I will not meet her often.
I know that she is a member who takes care of me and my rights in the Committee's decisions, of course Ilona too.

We have made an agreement with Stine, whom I trust completely.
It is based on the fact that I have given birth to a child for Stine. It was his suggestion and I agreed to it. In principle, it did not affect the agreement between me and the Committee, but of course it has some personal effects.
We sometimes talk about things over the web but we never mention the child. In my opinion, it's a good arrangement because the agreement about giving birth was completely clear, other things are not my business.
The reason why we met was that Stine wanted to talk with me about permanent disability and the limitations it brings.
...she has a lot of experience with it because she has been sitting in a wheelchair for a very long time.

She told me about the importance of physical health and maintaining the best possible functioning.

I think that meeting her and talking to her was very important and it reminded me of how I should think about things.

However, we all understand that the already made decisions about my practices, routines and restraints will not change until the related war crisis in Europe ends.