Second anniversary

It has already been two years since my limited life became even more limited.
By this I mean the shocking events when Russia attacked Ukraine. The killing, destruction and terror has continued ever since.

Someone may ask what and why it affected me so much...
I can't give an exact explanation for it. It feels wrong to me.

I live a lot through bondage, so in my opinion (and the Committee's) additional restrictions and a strict lifestyle help me deal with things.

I hoped that this tightened life would be shorter and I could return to my normal, limited lifestyle. That hasn't happened yet.

Last week even more horrible things happened when Russia coldly killed the only person who dared to criticize their insane system. It is unforgivable.

I'm shocked and it's hard for me to understand.

Thank you for your messages to me, they help me move forward.
Thanks also to the Committee and especially to Nina who listens to me

I don't see it as a punishment.
Nina has explained to me my need to live and experience this way. It can be difficult for an outsider to understand.

I'm completely healthy mentally, it's been confirmed many times... but I have special needs that cannot be suppressed.
If I were considered mentally ill with my thoughts, some kind of medication could be a way to suppress them, i.e. I would be drugged and thus my mind and needs might change.
However, that is not the case, there is no need to prevent my needs.

I have always had strong basic needs related to bondage, restraints and imprisonment.
They have always been overemphasized in my thoughts compared to ordinary people.
Those desires and the need to experience them led me to difficulties from which I still have deep traumas.

After all the unpleasant happens, for a long time I lived the life I had always dreamed of: A strict, disciplined life with supervised bondage. Safe from all harm.
The last two years have triggered the thought in me that maybe I'm not safe from all the bad guys.

The solution to that problem is to add experiences to my life that I like and that give me satisfaction.
Add stronger bondage, stricter rules and discipline. They give me a great sense of security and peace.
When I have strict physical boundaries, my thoughts focus on me, not on things I can't do anything about.

Nina once asked me if this situation is just an excuse for me to demand more strictness in my life?
I don't know the answer to that.

I agree, more work needs to be done for the Forum.
I will try my best to do so.

Voting Day

II part

"We're borrowing a better wheelchair for today's use" Ilona explained "It's a sturdy chair intended for long-term sitting of an assisted person, such as quadriplegics and the like. A few changes have been made to the chair for you".
"The chair is waiting for you in our common hall, you can walk there" she said "you will get your breakfast when you sit in the chair".
My hands were handcuffed behind my back. The female guard opened cell's door and the man removed my collar chain from the wall. The guard held my arm and led me out of the cell with a firm grip.
Walking was strange, the latex suit tightened my body and especially my legs. It felt like I couldn't bend my legs freely.
"You can walk normally" Ilona smiled at me "You don't need to waddle like Daisy Duck. Latex follows your movements and doesn't prevent you from moving".
The latx suit and the feeling it brought was very strange, but in the end I understood that it does not prevent me from moving almost normally. I still felt extra stiffness.

We stopped at the lobby door and the female guard unlocked it, then we went inside. The door was locked again.
Next to the table was a wheelchair that was heavier than a normal self-operated active wheelchair. It had a heavier, molded seat that was like a car seat. The seat had solid armrests and a high back, it even had a neck pillow like a car seat.
The wheels of the chair were smaller than in a normal wheelchair, it was impossible to reach the wheels while sitting in the chair even if I could move. The chair could clearly only be moved by an assistant.

Erin was in the room even though I didn't notice her right away. I only noticed her when she got up from the couch and walked over to the coffee table.
She had on a nice pair of brown leather pants, fashionably loose with a "paper bag" waist that was cinched in with a belt. A light sweater to match the color completed the outfit.She had some kind of brown boots on... and no leg irons or any other restraints. She was clearly just having a good time.
"Wow Miisa, you look really good in your new prison outfit" she said.
I didn't like her flattery, but I still tried to behave.
"I'd be happy to swap our outfits if you ever like it," I said dryly.
"prisoner needs to calm down so we can continue with our preparations" the guard said "Can you make it?"
"Sir, I'm calm, no problem" I said quietly.

"Well" Ilona said solemnly, "here is your wheelchair that will transport you to do your civic duty, i.e. vote.
"As you can see, the chair is equipped so that a maximum security prisoner can be safely transported to a place where there are also other people" Ilona continued "All this is possible because we have decided to trust that the prisoner behaves calmly and does not cause any kind of disturbance during the journey".
"I will show you the chair and the fixings so that you understand everything and there will be no surprises," she continued.
"As I already said, the chair is designed for the daily use of a quadriplegic person. The seat is designed to provide a firm and comfortable sitting position for a slender person like you. Of course, the seat also has attachment points with which the sitter can be safely attached to the chair to prevent damage" Ilona lectured "In this case, the attachments are reinforced and some additions have been made".
"Come closer and you will be able to see for yourself the safety features of the chair" she called.
I took a few steps closer with the guard still holding onto my arm and collar chain.

There were fastening straps on the sides and back of the seat back. The quick-release buckles now hung from the ends of the straps.
"You may have noticed that your corset has several metal attachment points, D-rings," Ilona said.
I hadn't noticed them, I couldn't have because I haven't even seen my corset clearly.
"With these straps you are attached to the back of the seat in four places, two on each side. the buckles of the straps are attached to D-rings and thus they can be tightened and secured very effectively" Ilona explained.
In the middle of the backrest, under the neck pillow, there was a short chain. Ilona lifted it with her hand "This chain will be locked behind your collar".
"As you can see, there's a hole in the bottom of the seat for the attachment" Ilona smiled "You don't have to worry, there's no nasty tool to put in it. There's a wedge piece between your legs that prevents you from sliding forward. The wedge is so big that a strap goes over it over your thighs. It keeps the thighs in place comfortably and pain free.
"There is a place for your feet normally, like in all wheelchairs. In this case, fixed steel cuffs for your ankles have been added to the frame of the chair," Ilona introduced, "on top of the cuffs is a normal Velcro belt to keep the steel hidden. As you know, that is normally used to prevent spastic movements, it is completely normal for a paralyzed person".
"After you've had your breakfast, you get gloves that imitate the wrist guards of the hands of a quadriplegic. As you know, the wrists of a paralyzed person tend to turn upwards and the fingers bend" Ilona continued her lecture "now these gloves/wristbands do the same and at the same time they limit the use of your hands significantly!"
"On your upper arms, above the elbow, there will be straps that tie your arms to the sides of the corset, during the transport you will of course have handcuffs in front of you, they will lock your arms in your lap" she concluded.

"Now, please sit in your chair," Ilona said politely.
The guard held me and helped me sit on the wheelchair seat. My latex suit felt tight but amazingly it also allowed me to sit.
As soon as I was seated, I felt the attachment hooks attach to the D-rings of my corset. The guard tightened them so that I felt like I was sitting really tight against the backrest.
"How does it feel?" Ilona asked curiously.
"It feels tight but not in a bad way" I answered "The back of the chair is designed to support the body, combined with the tight corset, it makes me feel like a part of the seat. I have no possibility to move in any direction".
"All four fasteners of the corset are placed behind the seat so that you have no chance to reach them," Ilona clarified. There was perhaps even pride in the design in her voice.
"Spread your legs as much as you can" Ilona said.
The guard placed a black, leather-covered wedge between my legs. Its mounting part went through the seat through a hole in it. The guard knelt down and bent down so he could tighten the adjusting screw under the seat. The tip of the wedge pressed lightly on my crotch, but it wasn't bothersome. the sides of the wedge were against my inner thighs. My thighs had no more room to move.
I was thinking about the purpose of the wedge piece. In principle, in "normal use" it prevents the chair user from accidentally sliding forward on the seat, but in my case it is now impossible because I am tightly tied to the back of the chair. This is all just extra safety...because maximum security.

"Now that you're safely strapped into the chair, you can have breakfast," Ilona said.
The male guard pushed my chair next to the table and the female guard placed the tray on the table in front of me.The breakfast was nothing special. Tea, a sandwich and a small yogurt, a glass of water.
I don't eat much in the morning because normally the corset doesn't allow any substantial eating.
This morning was different from normal only because now I was firmly stuck in the chair, which means I couldn't lean towards the table.
I had a little trouble eating the yogurt with a small plastic spoon, I made a little mess when the yogurt fell into my lap. The female guard took a damp towel and wiped the yogurt away.
"How convenient!" Erin smiled as she watched me struggle "You should wear more latex and rubber because it's easy to keep clean!"
"I'm sure you'd like it" I said carefully, not wanting to get nervous now.
"Now think. If you had worn your leather skirt it would have been badly soiled by now!" Erin continued.
"You can also clean leather" Ilona calmed the situation down "There's no reason to escalate the situation now!"
I thought Erin wanted to annoy me for some reason. She clearly enjoyed the fact that I was forced to wear uncomfortable latex. She succeeded in that...
"What right do you have to point out my harm? Do you enjoy the fact that you have better rights than me? We are both prisoners, we should support each other!" I said excitedly.
Ilona looked meaningfully at Erin.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" Erin told me "I was just trying to lighten the mood, that's all".
"I'm sorry but I don't understand what your role is in this community" I said still angry.
At the same time, I felt a chain that was attached to the chair being locked behind my collar. Now I was more limited again. I tried to lean forward but now it was impossible, I had to lean my head back towards the headrest.
"Prisoner! I must warn you now!" the guard said to me angrily "If you can't control yourself, the trip has to be cancelled. This is not a kindergarten where you can argue about things, here you have to be able to behave in all situations!"
"Can you calm down?" Ilona asked "can you both be calm?"
"I can calm down but may I ask if Erin is still a supervised prisoner like me?" I said enhanced calmly.
"It's none of your business!" The guard said shortly.
"Erin is a prisoner who is monitored and protected just like you" Ilona explained after a little consideration.
"I don't quite understand why we have to talk about this same thing every time. Erin's imprisonment is different compared to yours. There are many other elements associated with your imprisonment, they make your life more limited and difficult. You have a lot of uncomfortable things, but you wanted that life. Now it is impossible to change, we are all committed to it".

"Erin has no signs of confinement, no restraints, not even a monitoring device on her ankle" I continued still "it's hard to believe that she is a tightly controlled person".
"Erin has no visible monitoring devices and no signs of status, that's true" Ilona said patiently "They made her duties too difficult. She has a surveillance chip under her skin, similar to yours," Ilona continued.
I was speechless.
"...do I have a monitoring chip?" I asked in disbelief.
"Of course it is" Ilona said calmly "In that way you are equal".
"In your case, it's just a confirmation by which we guarantee where you would move if it were possible. But as we know, it's not" Ilona explained "We can see in real time where the person is moving, in some cases we can even know with room accuracy where the person is".
"I don't have any monitoring chip" I said in disbelief.
"You've had it for a few years" Ilona said "Actually it needs to be renewed at some point because its battery and transmission power deteriorate over time".
"I have no idea that one was installed on me" I mused in a low voice.
"We can't install it unnoticed even though it's a very small capsule" Ilona smiled "It was put behind your ear while you were getting your prisoner tattoo. It only needed one small incision. You didn't know anything about it because you thought it was related to the pain of the tattoo".
"You have no reason to be shocked by this information, it's modern times" Ilona continued "It's a security factor that is also used by several well-known people, politicians, etc. If a person disappears, e.g. kidnapped, it's very easy to find him these days".
"Like a lost cell phone" I thought.
"That's right, it uses the same technology" Ilona smiled "But I'm not an expert in this, I trust real experts!"
"Have you calmed down so we can continue with today's program?" she asked.
"I have calmed down" I answered after thinking for a moment.
The information I received shocked me at first, but when I thought about it more, it was just another form of surveillance and security.

I'm confused now. Why would they tell me a lie?
I was thinking about your post yesterday when I read it...it brought to mind some very confusing things.
The fact is that when I feel the skin behind my ear with my finger I feel something under the skin, I am relatively sure of it.
I don't know anything about this technology and google doesn't give me enough information.
I totally believed what I was told and now I'm confused that I haven't been able to verify it!

If the device is not real, why was I told a lie?
I saw it as a good thing (a working device) because it gives me extra security. Then the supervisor could always track me down if I was kidnapped or otherwise disappeared.
To me, that wouldn't be a bad thing by any means.

The information about the transmitter on Erin calmed me down because then I felt that we are equal at least in some way. It would be a shame if it weren't true.
It doesn't really matter much because I've kind of given up on the idea of ​​Erin being a prisoner in any way.
It's time for me to get over it.
The idea of ​​having an equal fellow inmate was great and I liked it, but that wish has already been destroyed.
If I've been lied to about the tracking device, what else have I been lied to about?
Right now, this question is influencing all my thinking here. I don't want uncertainty.

Voting Day

III part

I had eaten my breakfast and I was also calmed down. Eating usually helps to control nervousness...
The  guard pushed me away from the table and secured my ankles to the frame of the wheelchair in the correct places. He adjusted the foot level a little lower because my boots had normal heels.The level of the footrest had a transverse elevation that was placed between the heels and the sole of my boot. Thus, moving the boots forward was impossible without lifting the thighs and legs.
He used reinforced nylon straps to fasten my ankles, on top of them came a velcro belt which was standard practice to prevent sudden spastic movements.

"My latex suit will be visible when we're out..? I thought out loud.
"Don't worry about it" Ilona said and continued "Would you like your bright orange prison uniform to be seen everywhere?"
"Ohhh, I really wouldn't like that!" I said quickly. I already had time to imagine what would happen if I were to be transported like that in public!
I'm not some kind of performing "artist" who enjoys attention, even though I really want to see "normal" life sometimes. My dream would be to be like a fly on the ceiling, nobody would pay attention to me but I would see everything.
"Don't be afraid, we don't want unnecessary attention either" Ilona smiled "You will be almost invisible. No one will look at a person sitting in a wheelchair for a long time".
"Good and dignified behavior is expected from the people at the polling place during the event," said Erin expertly, "it's written into the law in some way, I can't remember the exact wording now."
"Are you coming with us?" I asked Erin.
"Erin won't come with us" Ilona said "she stays here the whole time".
For some reason, I was happy to know that Erin is not coming with us. Maybe she'll stay here behind bars like she should. I was overjoyed like a child... I'm going out but Erin stays locked inside!

"Next, we'll finish attaching your legs," Ilona said.
The guard took a leather strap and attached it to the frame of the wheelchair seat. He threaded it through the loop on the crotch wedge, tightened and locked it on the other side of the seat.
Now my thighs were tightly bound to the chair, it was impossible for me to lift or move my legs.
"Effective, or what do you think?" Ilona smiled as she looked at me.
I tried the attachment, it was really effective and safe. At the same time, I felt inexplicable waves of pleasure when I noticed how much I like my situation!
"Then it's your hands' turn!" Ilona smiled. She had noticed my wave of pleasure.
"You are now trying new types of gloves, they force your wrists to bend upwards and bend your fingers like what happens to the hands of a quadriplegic," Ilona explained.
She introduced me to some strange looking leather gloves. I held out my hand so she could put the glove on me.
"How eager you are!" she said with a smile.
"Maybe I'm weird that way" I replied excitedly "I rarely get to try new things".

The glove was relatively easy to put on. It rose well past the wrist. It had a hard, molded part on the inside of the wrist and on the palm, going up almost to the fingertips. the outer part was light brown leather, like skin color, and it was closed with a tight zipper all the way.
The gloves made it impossible to use my wrists and fingers normally. The wrist of the glove also had D-rings.
When the gloves were in my hands I looked at them in fascination. They were strange but still very beautiful!
"Effective and beautiful" I said admiringly "the color is a bit strange..."
"We thought that light brown is a neutral color" Ilona explained "It may be that your hands are visible in some situation, even in public".
"...and that's not all! Do you notice that the glove on the right hand has a hole that goes through the inside of your fingers? You can attach a pen or a spoon to it for self-help activities!" Ilona explained enthusiastically.

"...and now comes your arm restraints" Ilona said.
The guard put a strap around my arm, above the elbow, which locked tightly to the D-ring on the side of my corset. Maybe it was the same attachment point that I was attached to the chair, I don't know.
My arms were now firmly attached to my body, it was impossible for me to move them. I could only move the lower part of my hands after the elbows, but I knew that that freedom would also soon be gone.

"Your feet need warm protection because it's cold winter weather outside" Ilona said "Latex is not particularly good winter clothing".
The female guard put a kind of leather fur skirt over my legs. It was clearly designed and made for this use. It attached to the chair at my waistline and came down over my legs so that just maybe the toes of my boot could be seen underneath...at least I hoped so because otherwise it would have been unstylish.
It was still attached behind my legs so that it could not accidentally open. I think it looked like a beautiful and practical leather skirt for winter use with a wheelchair in mind.
It hid all my lower restraints.
"Cross your wrists in your lap" the guard ordered "left palm up and right hand crossed over it, palm down".
I put my hands as prescribed, the range of motion was just enough for it.
The guard took the lock and locked the D-rings on my gloved wrists together. The wrists were now effectively locked, stiff gloves and wrists made the locking more effective.
"Almost ready" Ilona said and watched me as I silently tested my locks and fastenings.
Erin watched me from the side, she had followed everything with interest but quietly.
"You really like being locked up tight and with no chance of release" she said quietly "I can see that in you".
I didn't answer anything, I didn't want to spoil the atmosphere I had achieved.
"Bondage and related things can really be enjoyed in many ways" Ilona said with a smile "We are happy that the prisoner approaches things in the right way and with a good attitude!"

"A few more things and we're ready to move to the car," Ilona said briskly.
The guard behind me removed my collar chain from the chair's headrest behind my neck. Ilona came closer and put a kind of neck brace on my neck, it was a soft material but still forced my head into a straight and upright position.
"The neck brace perfectly hides your steel collar and the chain behind it," Ilona explained.
The guard carefully attached the chain back to the chair. I noticed that it was now even shorter.
The female guard brought a dark gray thick cloak like a tent with an opening for my head, it was lifted over my head and over me.
The cloak came down over my lap, even over my knees and down my sides and back so that it covered (and hid) everything underneath.
"Perfect!" Ilona exclaimed with joy. Erin also looked pleased.

"The car is already ready in front of the door" Ilona said "We'll go to it, it's not good to be inside the house because you can get too warm covered like this".
I appreciated that he thought about my comfort, I was no longer sure of my physical sensations.
Latex causes strange sensations, especially tight latex. I was aware that I was sweating inside the suit, but I guess that's not possible because I was just sitting in my place. Maybe my slight sexual arousal affected my feeling.

It was strange to be so effectively strapped to a chair. I'm used to many kinds of restraints, but this was really different.
I was able to turn my head a little because the neck brace was made of soft material, but it raised my chin up and thus speaking was difficult.
I was also able to move the tips of my fingers even though they were effectively encased in my gloves/wrist braces.
That's all.
I was also able to breathe... although a little limited because of the corset. I could also see, hear and smell so I could perceive everything that was happening.
Finally, Ilona put a thick gray woolen beanie on my head.
"It's cold outside, we don't want you to catch a cold on our way," Ilona said caringly.
"I hope you enjoy your supervised outing at the polling place," Erin said with a smile.
The female guard unlocked the doors and the male guard pushed me out of the building through the garage.

The car was a regular taxi that had been modified to transport disabled customers.
The back door opened upwards and there was a ramp to the ground at the back of the car. I saw that the floor of the car has been lowered, so there was a lot of space inside.
I was pushed into the car and the wheelchair was locked to the floor. An additional support was placed behind me to protect me in a rear-end crash, etc. I was also fitted with a normal seat belt as required by law.
Ilona came to sit in the back with me, in front of me, facing me.
The guards sat in the front seat, the man drove.
"Is Erin alone and unsupervised all this time?" I asked "Did you lock her in the cell?"
"You are wonderfully caring" Ilona said "It's none of your business, but I can tell you that Erin will be fine without guards this time".
"Some members of the Committee recommended that during the car journey you should wear a gag, earplugs and a hood," Ilona said, "but I didn't want that. I think it's fun to talk with you while traveling".
"Girl talk.." I said.
"Even so" Ilona smiled "Our chat has been small and quite formal for a long time. Now you can relax for a while".
"Relaxing sounds great but how does it happen when I'm wrapped in tight latex and locked immobile?" I thought quietly.
We were silent for a while. I got used to my condition, the supportive position made it easier for me, I didn't fight back and I didn't have to hold myself, all the restraints took care of that.

"You're wearing pretty normal clothes now" I said "What happened to your beautiful leather dressing style?"
"The voting place is in an ordinary shopping center" Ilona answered "I didn't want to attract attention with my dress. I am a very ordinary assistant to a disabled person on this trip and that's why I dress like this".
I thought it was well thought out, it could attract attention if the assistant was dressed in expensive clothes... but on the other hand, why not?
"What do you like about your wheelchair" Ilona asked.
"I guess this is good, I don't know much about the use of this. I'm just sitting here very effectively strapped in" I replied "I feel like everything is very well planned".
"You know, the chair has also been designed with additional equipment for you" Ilona said "More than the ones currently in use".
"These devices seem very adequate" I said.
"There is an additional device to the chair that is attached between the wheels, like a shaft that connects the wheels. In the middle of the shaft, there is an eccentric to which you can attach a vertical rod. At the end of the rod is a dildo that moves up and down when the chair moves. The dildo comes from the through hole in the seat directly inside you" Ilona explained.
I was confused by what I heard, usually Ilona doesn't talk to me about these things.
I was silent and thought about what I heard, I silently imagined what it would be like.
In my thoughts I was locked and bound as now but I could now also imagine the dildo and its movement inside me. There's no way I could stop it... I don't know if I'd even want to stop it!
"ok.. I see that you got the idea" Ilona said smiling as she looked at my face.
I felt how my face was red, my body suddenly felt sweaty again and I got waves of sexual pleasure just thinking about it.
"Maybe its test drive would be your reward if this trip goes well" Ilona thought "What do you think?"

The trip now took on a completely new meaning in my mind!
It is true that I am addicted to many things related to my lifestyle. It all requires a lot of patience and adaptation, but sometimes it also rewards.

I decided that this trip is going really well!

It's happening again.
I have received a contact from the criminal investigation. They ask me for an expert opinion regarding the commitments of the BDSM lifestyle.

Here in Finland, there is a lawsuit against a person who engaged in very strong bdsm play with people who were committed to it in writing.
In one session, a man's penis was cut off. In another case, the victim was chained in the basement of the house and severe violence was inflicted on him.
Everything had been agreed in writing in advance.
There was also a mention in the written agreement that if/when the victim dies, the defendant can dispose of the body as he wishes.
...Pretty drastic thing.

They want to consult me ​​about it because some authorities know about my lifestyle and related contracts.
This is crazy, I don't want to publicly explain my personal life because some people do stupid things!

The committee told me that I have nothing to worry about, Erin will take care of the legal affairs and I cannot be forced to go public.
The Committee also does not want our contracts and practices to be investigated, even though everything we do is legal.

I mean that I don't want to compare other people's sexual actions and preferences with my personal choices.
I can't know and I can't explain what other people think about these things.
That's why I only talk about my things and how I feel about them.

Voting Day

V part

We approached the shopping center where the polling place was located. The driver drove the car to the platform of the second floor parking lot, next to the doors. The place was reserved for use by taxis, etc., also for disabled taxis.
"the place is not marked for the use of prisoner transport..." I stated quietly.
"I love your sense of humor" Ilona smiled while the guard unfastened my wheelchair from the car.
"Just the last things before we get out of the car," Ilona said.
She took the beanie off my head and placed the face mask over my nose and mouth. It was a normal mask that was fastened behind the ears. Then she placed my beanie back on my head.
"As you know, the Committee recommended that you use a ballgag when we're out but I didn't accept that idea" Ilona said "I trust that you can behave properly".
The face mask would hide the ballgag perfectly, but I was happy that Ilona was so thoughtful towards me.

Inside the car, Ilona lifted the cloak covering me and the guard opened the lock that kept my wrists locked. It didn't increase my freedom much because my upper arms were still tied to my body.
The cape had grommets through which my hands were threaded out so that my wrists were visible, or actually the gloves that disabled my fingers and wrists were visible.
Ilona also put the woolen mittens on my hands, I noticed that they are the same as my beanie.
"Details are important," I said.
"It's nice that you can appreciate small details" Ilona smiled.

We moved out of the car and straight to the elevator that took us down to the mall.
The shopping center was small and quiet, only a few people were going about their business.
I saw a kiosk, some specialty stores, a pharmacy and a few restaurants, only a few people were eating in them.
I was a little disappointed, I would have liked to see more pulsating life, but this was just a shopping center in a sleepy neighborhood.

The polling station was quite close, maybe about 30 meters from the elevator. It was very peaceful there too.
There was an older lady at the door, she handed me the ballot paper but was startled when she realized that I couldn't take it in my hands. A sympathetic look spread across his face.
"One polling place is lower, considering the wheelchair," she instructed Ilona.
She didn't talk to me or pay any more attention to me, she only deals with Ilona now.
It is true that a person sitting in a wheelchair becomes invisible.
Ilona pushed my chair behind the curtained table for voting when suddenly a male person came to us.
He said that he is the head of the polling station and he has to make sure that the given vote is really the will of the voter. That's why Ilona can't be behind the curtain with me.
The options were that I write the voting number myself or tell it to the clerk who marks it on the ballot. Ilona can't write it.
He was talking to Ilona and didn't care about me.
"She can listen and talk to you herself," Ilona told the man calmly.
The man was surprised and finally turned towards me.
"What do you want to do, can you write yourself?" he asked looking at my hands.
"Sir, maybe it's better if I tell you the number and you write it down" I said calmly.
I was amused by the fact that because the neck brace lifted my chin up, my speech was a little slurred. Maybe it was exactly what the man was expecting.

Next we moved behind a long table, behind the table was a clerk who received my ballot. Ilona gave me my identity papers and the woman checked them. Then he looked at the chief questioningly.
"I'm sorry but she needs to take off the face mask for a moment so we can identify you as the right person" He said to Ilona.
"I need to take off your mask for a moment so they can see that you are a thinking person" Ilona said annoyed and took off my mask.
My face was exposed and I smiled at the clerk as best I could.
"Yes... I can understand speech quite normally so you can also talk directly to me" It was a bit mean of me but I understood that Ilona was nervous because they made me insignificant.
At the same time I was very happy that I didn't have a ballgag in my mouth. It would have made the situation perhaps a little confusing.
"Institutions and hospitals also have polling stations so that patients don't have to be transported to regular polling stations," the man said annoyed.
"Is this too much trouble for you?" Ilona asked "This person has exactly the same right as others and she votes right here and now!"
I was a bit confused by Ilona's strong reaction, it surprised me.
She took the ballot and put it in an envelope and handed it to the clerk who stamped it and dropped it in the ballot box.
The clerk didn't even ask for my signature.
They were happy when Ilona put my mask back on and pushed me out of the polling station.
"I need coffee now!" Ilona said and took me to the neighbor's cafe.
The guards followed us and looked worried.
"We should go to the car already, the cafe was not the planned stopping place," said the male guard.
"We are now drinking coffee and calming our nerves" Ilona said calmly.
He left me sitting next to the table, between the guards, and went to get himself coffee and a glass of water with a drinking straw.
Meanwhile, the guards had turned me so that I was in the corner facing the wall, unable to see into the cafe.
Ilona came and turned the chair again so that I can look at the cafe and the people. She sat next to me and lifted my face mask so I could drink water from the glass she held in front of my face.
I saw the frustration of the guards and it made me happy.
We didn't say anything. Ilona enjoyed her coffee and I enjoyed being able to follow the life of the shopping center. We sat in the corner of a small cafe, but that was a big deal for me!

Finally we moved back to the car, the security guard carefully locked my chair. He also locked my wrists together again.
I was already feeling a little tired because I had been sitting still for a very long time.
The tight latex didn't make it any easier, although it wasn't as bad as I first thought.
"Why did you get nervous at the polling place?" I asked when the car was moving again.
"I don't know" Ilona laughed "I just don't like people who  think they are too important.
"You defended me nicely" I smiled "even though I get the same treatment from all of you every day".
"It's not the same thing" Ilona said "It's kind of the internal dynamics of our community. As a prisoner, you have to submit to certain norms of behavior, they are important so that the internal order is functional in all conditions inside our prison".
"Our job is to keep you and your life in disciplined order" she said thoughtfully "But it also means that our job is to take care of you and protect you in all situations. That's your right".
"So you guys can be rude to me and ignore me but outsiders can't" I concluded.

"It's a shame if you feel that way, we don't mean to be rude to you, but you have to understand our dominant position towards you" Ilona lectured me "Things don't work with too much friendship in your life. You don't live in a kindergarten".

"Now I'm going back to our previous conversation, to the plan that was presented to us" she said "think about it and think about what kind of agreement you could end up with that man. Erin will help you in the negotiations and making the agreement, but you have to think about the main lines yourself".
This was something for me that I need time to think about.
Basically the offer is interesting, I know that I need bondage in my life and this would be a good way to increase it. At the same time, I could feel useful because I would receive monetary compensation for it, which I could pass on as a donation to those in need.

"I need a lot of time to think" I said "I want to discuss it with Nina too".
"You have all the time" Ilona said reassuringly "you don't need to rush it".