Aftercare for me means peace and safe, tight physical attachment, under a warm blanket with myself.

I don't write everything about my sexual sessions these days.
It's because my loved one (mother) also reads this diary. I don't need to upset anyone.

In that situation my thumbs were tied so that I wouldn't try anything excessive.
It must be remembered that normally effective binding or restraints do not hurt the person, pain only occurs if the person tries to move excessively, so it is completely their own choice.

Miisa Karlsson wrote:

    In that situation my thumbs were tied so that I wouldn't try anything excessive.
    It must be remembered that normally effective binding or restraints do not hurt the person, pain only occurs if the person tries to move excessively, so it is completely their own choice.

I understand being in these restraints in the first place is entirely your choice, I'm mainly concerned that you ssemed to express discomfort while being in the thumb ties.  If this were, say, a TPE and a sub had claimed to in agony, the dom would have seen to the subs physical and emorional well being.  Up to and including alternative ties or even stopping a scene.

Generally speaking, I think the level of care they give you for your physical health has been very good, they clearly care a great deal for you.

Even by bdsm standards though, the dedicatiion towards maintaining the dynamic can sound a bit scary as circumstances change.  Here's one example;

    "I don't like the color, 'I continued,' it's a very aggressive color. It screams attention to itself and would make me very visible if it wasn't hidden."
    "That's the purpose of it," Ilona said calmly. "I think it's a good idea that a prisoner is easily identifiable if something surprising happens."
    "What could be such a surprising happen?" I laughed.
    "There are many opportunities," Ilona said thoughtfully, "A prisoner may try to escape, she may have helpers. In theory, it could even be possible for us to have a car accident, for example. We could all get hurt. Even then, rescue personnel must recognize that you are a prisoner. "
    "What would that actually mean in an accident?" I asked.
    "Since you are a Max Security prisoner, it is important to first ensure safety and check that the prisoner cannot harm others or herself. Only then can she be examined and treated medically," Ilona explained.
    "So if an accident happens, rescuers will first check my restraints and only then my health?" I asked.
    "You understand correctly," Ilona replied "That's why you have to be easily identified as a prisoner in every situation."
    "How can rescuers and officials surely identify me as a prisoner?" I asked in amazement. I was a little shocked.
    "Of your prisoner documents," Ilona said, "We all have a copy of the agreement you signed, your prisoner agreement, they're always there when we move out with you."
    "Will the authorities approve it even in the happen of an accident?" I think aloud.
    "It is as valid as a ban on treatment or resuscitation, for example. It can also be compared to an organ donation contract," Ilona said. "Once you have signed the prison agreement, you have given the Committee decision-making power in these matters as well."
    I was very upset, this was very shocking news for me. Ilona saw my shock.
    "You don't have to be upset," Ilona said calmly "It doesn't mean you won't be treated in the best possible way in every situation. It just means that your Max Security status must be taken into account in every situation. That's why you have to be identifiable in every situation."
    "If, in theory, there is an accident, will I be the last to receive treatment?" I asked, I was still upset.
    "Of course it's not so!" Ilona said, "It doesn't affect your treatment in any way. If you're badly injured compared to others, of course you'll get help right away. The only thing is that your prisoner status and the restraints that come with it will be taken into account."
    "This is a silly conversation anyway," Ilona said, "There's no reason to think anything bad would happen!"

Even a car accident requires this much?

Everything Ilona said would be true if you were a dangerous prisoner who is being held against your will to protect society.  But you are not.  You are doing this by choice, because you have a need to be captive.  So why would Illona even say you might escape?  Is this also part of a role play?

It sounds like your status as a prisoner is so important to Illona, that she wants the world to know it even in life or death situations.  Suspending the scene (Because unless you really are a captive, that's what this is.  A bdsm like scene with your ongoing, enrhusiastic and informed consent) does not sound like a possibility for Illona, ever.  If you and she were abducted by aliens in a flying saucer, I wonder of her main concern would be them respecting your prisoner status.  😁

Call.me.a.worry wart, because that's what this is.  Me worrying.  Or.is it meddling?

In the end it's your life, you can be as extreme as you want.  I can't see the wisdom of ensuring your captivity transcends life or death scenerios though.  It seems more like Illona's nees then yours, going by the reactions you discribe at this information.

Last edited by Transmorpher (Today 17:09:55)

I need to clarify a few things about my life and the agreements that apply to it.

We (the Committee and I) have agreed to live my life as a heavily restricted and supervised prisoner.
This kind of life for me cannot be a "game to play on the weekends", it has to be true all the time, 24/7, for a long time. I think it is a lifelong solution.
The committee is committed to it, as am I.

It means living by the rules absolutely, always and in every situation. The rules have taken shape over the years, in the beginning there were only clear basic rules but things have evolved, even the smallest details.

I can tell you that at the beginning of my imprisonment, when I was still in another place, I had much more relaxed rules in many things.
My "guard" live with me and the whole thing was just a game for him. I can say that we were loving, I liked that he gave me a sense of security.
But that wasn't enough for me, sometimes there were situations where I had to take care that I was locked.
He also wanted us to live a "normal life", like other young couples, go out to shops and restaurants, etc.
He wanted us to be a normal family, a few kids, and maybe some kinky play on the weekends when the kids are in care somewhere...

It was sad that I felt even then that I had to be a full-time prisoner. Our wishes did not coincide so we parted ways.

The committee took me over and we made clear rules and agreements that I would be like a max security prisoner at all times.
They were very interested in doing it and for me it was a dream arrangement.

A lot has happened over time and our arrangements have evolved through experimentation.
The unifying factor is the unconditionality of my being a prisoner.
They satisfy my desires and alleviate my fears. I give them something they like, like a sense of power, etc. I don't even know exactly why they want to commit to this so strongly.

We have made precise agreements about how my life here will go and how things will be handled.
The agreement has been reviewed by lawyers (before Erin came). The agreement also states that I and my health will be taken care of.

Here in Finland, there has been a case where the parties have made an agreement on sadistic, sick matters.
The sadist kept his victim chained in a basement against his will and abused him (the victim's mind changed after the agreement was made).
He cut off the penis of another victim. That matter was also agreed upon in writing, but the agreements were poorly made, while sexually aroused.
The perpetrator was sentenced to prison for a few years.

My case cannot be compared to these cases, but in any case, the Committee and I want everything to go according to the agreement, always.

You have written in the past about the need for a mental orgasm as well as a physical one, to be fully satisfied. I would expect that, if your O-Sessions were always the same there would be no mental orgasm, and a physical orgasm may also become much harder to produce. This would reduce the effectiveness of the O-Session and be counter-productive. Much better, in my view, to constantly vary what is involved, so you are always unsettled and stretched during the session, never know what to expect and therefore feel a total loss of control. This is a better way for everyone involved, IMHO.

I am reminded of another submissive blogger whose Dominant decided she was no longer allowed to speak when outside their home. This rule became ingrained into their lifestyle. However, although she could be fully trusted to follow this rule 100% of the time, she quickly found that wasn't enough for her emotionally. She wanted to be gagged in public - to have the ability to speak taken from her. They ended up doing that, as it was more satisfactory for them both.