Hello Miisa,
Thanks for your kind words. Now I really feel welcomed on the Forum!

I am quite a fast reader indeed, although the quality of text understanding suffers when I cannot take as much time as I'd like. Anyway, your Diary in particular was a fascinating and inspiring read. I will certainly need some time to think about all that properly... Of course, I'm also very curious about the next entries - you left us in an interesting moment right now! (Although if I had to bet, I would say Erin - the Committee seems much too careful to let in someone from outside in such manner.)

One question that I would certainly like to ask (if it doesn't bother you) is about thinking habits connected to your lifestyle. Namely, most people can almost always get busy with something to avoid doubts and difficult thoughts. You are, however, often stuck unable to move or see, left alone with your mind. I imagine that in such moments it might be very easy to become overwhelmed with boredom and unhappy with one's life choices. Is it a problem for you? Do you have some solution against it, some meditation routines, or perhaps you are just naturally able to cut off such thoughts at will?

I thought a bit how to refer to you. I think that I will call you "Miisa" in casual talk, asking for advice and such - and "prisoner" when discussing your daily routines, possible changes and similar. Are you fine with this idea, Miisa, or would you prefer something else?

And once again, thank you very much for inviting me here!

Hello again,
Thanks for your answer! It was interesting and pleasant to read, although I think you have written similar things before, I know that your job and online contacts are important for your wellbeing. That you need and desire the stability of daily routines (here I can relate very much). And it's great that you can enjoy some attention here!

Actually, my question was a bit different. I wanted to ask specifically about the moments when you're locked in your bed or cage for many hours, you cannot change position or even see anything. I realise that sensory deprivation is difficult for human mind, bad thoughts come very easily.

And you experience it regularly, moveless in darkness, all that time with nothing to do but think about your life... I believe most people would panic or despair. So I'm trying to ask how you manage it mentally, have you learnt some meditation techniques, methods of controlling your thoughts? Or is it a natural ability for you?

Sorry if this question wasn't understandable in my previous post. There might be some kind of a language barrier, your English seems a bit different than what I'm used to. Hopefully it is no problem, I'm sure that with some patience we can talk clearly.

Finally, about the naming: I know your rules, I just wanted to make sure that you will feel comfortable. So if both "Miisa" and "prisoner" are fine - I will use both sometimes, depending on mood and context.

Have a good day, Miisa!

Good evening Miisa,

Well, it actually makes sense! You expressed it in very clear terms now. Of course you aren't afraid of being left alone, of restraints and blindfolds. Actually, being locked behind many doors makes you feel guarded and cared about. You know that nobody unexpected will come for you, that everything will go according to the routine.

However, let me say, it is very nice that you can stay for many hours with no stimuli, nothing but your thoughts, and feel happy and relaxed... I think it shows an admirable level of comfort with your personality and way of life.

Also, as I said, your need of predictability and regular routine is something that I can understand very well. However, I'd generally try to achieve it by controlling my environment, not leaving it to others. It might be less effective...

I will need to think about all that. When I find time, I will certainly try to write in the other threads, maybe to learn more about your current rules or to comment the Diary. By the way, some interesting development there! It seems that I have found your site in a very important moment for you.

And of course, I would be quite curious to read more of your memoirs!

Greetings,
David

Hello Hanna,
Nice to know you! I see that you are quite an active contributor here. The forum mainly seems centered on Miisa's activity, but I certainly wouldn't refuse to participate in an interesting side discussion.